Ties Have Been Severed

Well, we did it. We no longer have cable TV or digital phone. I took what I needed to take back to the Spectrum place in Hanes Mall. The irritating thing, they moved the Spectrum store. So, I ended up hiking upstairs where I had to rest there at the Hanes Mall summit. Once my strength had been replenished, I finished the rest of the hike through the J.C. Penny’s and around the corner where I could see the Red Robin through the glass doors. I was a bit perturbed that the location hadn’t been changed on the Google Maps. Yeah, I checked before heading out.

I managed to have it all and we’ll only be charged for Internet from here on out.

If you know me then you may have an idea that I’m a bit of a TV junkie. We finally went with YouTubeTV for our live TV needs. The indoor antennas just weren’t cutting it and plus, I need some DVR like service. And I just didn’t want to hoist up a pole with an outdoor antenna. I’m sure that all of the adjusting for maximum picture quality would drive the MIL into thinning her already thinning hair out even more. Believe me. If you handed a laptop to an Aborigine child that has never seen one and have him race against the MIL to turn it on, the child would win. Just learning how the Roku remote worked turned out to be a few hair-thinning moments for me.

We ditched Hulu. They have some things that I liked, but the only real use of them would be for watching the OTA (over-the-air) network shows because we don’t have a DVR for that. We definitely kept Netflix and the MIL is watching so much on there that I’m astounded. ASTOUNDED! She’s binge-watching all kinds of things. She really got into ‘Grace & Frankie’. And finished up just before the new season drops in a few days. She’s also found a good stash of murder porn on there too. But I just couldn’t get her on ‘Mindhunter’ or ‘Breaking Bad’. She tends to have problems with series that aren’t linear and have to explain things like ‘Criminal Minds’ does to the audience. While watching ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ she felt confused and clueless. So, I would pause things and ask, “What do you think is going on?”

Most of the time, she was on it. But since the timeline was spread out all over the place, she was having a hard time knowing where she was in the storyline. She’s not dumb. But she has gotten so used to being spoon-fed every tiny detail from the characters of ‘Criminal Minds’ that her ability to think while watching a television show just needed to be dusted off.

Overall, the transition from cable TV has gone over smoothly. When I called to cancel, oh they had a deal for me. I could get all the locals and ten channels of my choosing for a comparable price. I asked, “Where was this deal when I asked about the lowest tier available after losing my job?”

“This offer only recently became available,” he said.

I politely declined because I’d still have to pay the rental fees on the boxes. Plus, I love having six profiles on YouTubeTV with no hardware to pay rent on.

If you’re thinking about ditching the cable company, I cannot recommend getting a Roku along with Netflix and YouTubeTV enough. Now as streaming apps are on the increase with things like DC Universe and the Disney app, content will greatly diminish on Netflix. But Netflix has some really strong original content and I just don’t expect that to change.

I’m so pleased with it what we have now that I don’t miss the cable at all.

Possible New World Record

I have put off and put off our decision to cut the cord. I wanted to make sure that I got everything watched on the DVR. And I’m practically there… I think that I have 2 episodes of ‘Riverdale’ on there and maybe less than a handful of some other series.

We flirted with indoor antennas and it was what I expected. It’s hit or miss depending on the weather and placement of the antenna. So yeah, nothing has really changed with digital TV.

I checked out all the live TV streaming services. They give me the basics of what I actually needed. I don’t need the multitude of channels that Spectrum offers on its lowest tier plan. I’d say that we only watch about 30% of what’s offered in that plan.

I settled on YouTube TV. Forty bucks a month with up to 6 unique users, what’s not to love?

I get the locals and channels that I NEED. That also means that I won’t be blowing the cord-cutting savings on beer when hitting the local bar to watch some of the NASCAR races on Fox Sports or NBC Sports.

And they promise UNLIMITED DVR! Oh yeah, I could use that when my returning shows overlap. But then again, I don’t think that we ever got over 50% on our DVR. Nonetheless, it’s exciting to know that they have me covered should I require 101% one day.

The most difficult part has been the learning curve for the MIL (mother-in-law). I knew that it would be. I purposely allowed the cable to remain for one more week during this learning curve. She could use the cable as a failsafe should she take any wrong turns using the Roku remote.

She got along pretty good last Friday, but I noticed that she was back to cable on Saturday. But I didn’t fight it. I didn’t have time to invest in order to straighten out her learning curve. The remote for the cable also operates the TV and believe me… It took some time to give her an understanding on how that all worked. Just imagine handing a cat a road map with the grocery store clearly marked and asking them to get their own food. Yeah, the learning curve has been steep with that remote.

The Roku has a LOT LESS buttons on the remote and it seems fairly intuitive to me. But for the MIL it’s like the instrument panel of a Boeing 787 Dreamliner. And when I try to explain what she needs to do she just starts hitting buttons. I have to say, “Stop. Don’t hit anything until I tell you where to go. You’re not learning how to do it on your own so take some time to listen to me, please.”

But the biggest problem is the fact that she doesn’t keep her reading glasses nearby. We’ve suggested those cords that you can attach to your readers. Putting them in a case to carry around in her housecoat. But no. She believes that wearing them in any fashion makes her look old. You know, as if being 72 years old and holding out objects as far as possible couldn’t possibly make you appear old.

I showed her how to go to Netflix from YouTube TV. Easy. Just press that white button with the Netflix logo on it. “Is that the white one?” she asked while trying to focus. “Yes,” I said.

She got to Netflix and I told her that she should devote some time there to find something to watch when she can’t find anything on the YouTube TV. “I will,” she said. “Now how do we get back to YouTube TV?” I asked.

“I hit the back button?” she asked. And before she asked, she had already hit it and the Netflix menu popped out from the left.

“The easiest way is to hit the home button,” I said. “Now where is the home button?”

She held the remote to allow as much light to shine upon it as much as possible and it was taking a few moments because she couldn’t see the marked button with an outline of a “home” on it. “It’s the top right button with a picture of a home on it,” I said.

“Is it this one?” she asked while pointing to the “*” button near the center of the remote.

“No, Linda. It’s the one on the right at the top. It has a picture of a home on it,” I said.

“It’s not this one?” pointing to the “*” button again.

“Is that button at the top of the remote?” I asked. “Perhaps you could see better with your glasses.”

She just pressed the button and went back to the home screen. Glasses? She don’t need no stinkin’ glasses.

“Now that you’re at the home screen, how do you get back to YouTube TV?” I asked. She immediately made a beeline to YouTube. I let it go.

“This doesn’t look like it did before,” she said.

“That’s because you went to YouTube instead of YouTube TV,” I pointed out. I tried not to be sarcastic about her ability to see and read at a distance. “Now press the home button again.”

Lo and behold she remembered where that home button was… “Oh! There’s one that says YouTube TV,” she said in a surprised voice.

“Yes, YouTube has a completely different purpose.”

So, she finally got back to where she wanted to be so that she wouldn’t miss ‘Days Of Our Lives’.

Yesterday I surprised to find her searching and watching some programming on Netflix. She didn’t even need help navigating back to YouTube TV. I felt like calling Guinness to see if it was a new World Record with women her age.

Thank the gods for Kentucky made bourbon! I'm going to need it when we get to Amazon streaming.

Fall TV Has Fell

The new television season is here again and my excitement about this time of year has declined. It’s been in a decline for the past few years. The over-the-air network shows are, for the most part, just crap. The OTA networks just slap those turds onto the wall to see what sticks.

If we use the Emmy’s as some sort of barometer for quality, OTA networks don’t seem to putting out anything “exceptional” except for that NBC series ‘This Is Us’. I haven’t seen ‘This Is Us’ and I have absolutely no desire. It appears to be a series molded from the Lifetime Movie Channel… People in heartbreaking trouble for the crying entertainment of the viewers. Personally, I don’t get it. But for some reason women eat that stuff up. Even the MIL has expressed interest in watching it. I offered to get her up to speed with the series “On Demand”, but thankfully she didn’t bite.

There was one intriguing series that NBC is putting out this season that seemed interesting, but the three reviews that I read caused me to say “Screw it” and I had the good sense not to set a DVR timer for it. ‘Manifest’ sounded like a great idea straight from an episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’, but the reviews found problems that would cause me to groan out loud. One review even compared it’s tear-jerking potential to ‘This Is Us’.

But network television has serious issues with putting out decent science-fiction types of series. Since the success of the GREAT series ‘Lost’, they’ve been tossing them turds onto the walls just to see them slide down to the ground. The two biggest pieces of excrement, in my opinion, were ‘Flash Forward’ and ‘Revolution’. And after those two loafs from the OTA networks, I just gave up like I gave up on the majority of OTA network comedies and dramas.

The biggest problem for the OTA’s is quality. Sure, you see a dash of OTA series, actors, writers, or directors nominated for the Emmy’s, but those nominees are as elusive as Bigfoot. There are only the occasional sightings along with the ultra-occasional win.

But the OTA’s are kind of like the rock band KISS. They’re not interested in art as much as they are the money. After all, they thrive upon advertisers. They aren’t interested in quality and from the series that litter the airwaves, it’s all dumbed down crap for the masses.

The MIL likes watching repeats ‘Criminal Minds’ on some channel that she watches after ‘Days of Our Lives’ and that show makes me want to throw things at the television. Each character must fully explain every tiny detail to the other characters that should already know, you know, because it’s they’re job. But they can’t leave one single OTA viewer with questions. Those viewers need to know because they’re not going to think on their own.

We’ve recently made the decision to cut the cord and we’ve been weaning the MIL off the cable networks with ‘Stranger Things’ on Netflix. She enjoys the junk on the SyFy Channel so, I thought I’d give her an upgrade in quality television. It has taken some time. She said, “I don’t understand it.”

So, I asked about the things that she didn’t understand. And it was exactly what I thought it would be… She’s so used to having characters over explain plot points and the encapsulated procedurals that end each show with a “satisfying” conclusion. I had to explain that she should look at it as if it’s a soap like her ‘Days of Our Lives’ where there’s a story arc that continues. I reassured her that answers to her questions will become clearer as we go along. The MIL is getting it, but she has been made a little impatient by the OTA network fare. She has managed to stick with it along with Jamie.

I couldn’t get Jamie on board the first time around, but she’s all in this time around. They’re clamoring to watch more. We even watched four of them in a row over the weekend. I halted my progress with season 2 and decided to re-watch while they caught up to me.

And since the MIL is all about some murder porn on the ID Channel, I’m thinking about tossing ‘Mindhunter’ from Netflix on her as well.

In conclusion, I don’t understand what folks get from the OTA network shows. Most of the series are pointless, bland, and dumber than a side of beef. If it weren’t for the local news and sports, I wouldn’t bother with any kind of OTA antenna.

Your Television Premiere Dates for the Week of April 25 - May 1, 2016

My hats off to NBC and 'Saturday Night Live' for their special Prince tribute that ran this past Saturday night. Here's a link to see this wonderful look at an IMMENSELY talented American icon of popular music.

I was floored by some of the performances that I had never seen. Especially his performance of "Fury". The man's playing was ON FIRE during that song. And that is no way an attempt to be "punny".

I didn't fully get on board the Prince wagon until the 'Batman' album and then it was pretty much over for attempts to see him live. I dug his music, but it was everywhere. I didn't feel the need to immerse myself in it when it was so readily available on the radio and television. I took it for granted because you just couldn't escape him. And when I finally found that deep appreciation, his shows became a little more rare and exclusive for me to attend. And now I'm kicking myself after witnessing the electric performances from 'Saturday Night Live'. Hell, I've been kicking myself for years.

And yes, his Superbowl performance still stands as the best one yet. In the rain, mofos!

Not a whole lot going on this week with television premieres. And the 28th kicks off May sweeps!



PREMIERE DATES

Monday, April 25
- ‘Reign’ is back with its spring premiere at 8pm on the CW.
- ‘Mike & Molly’ is also back with its spring premiere at 8pm on CBS. The remaining episodes are the last episodes.
- ‘Turn’ is back for a third season on AMC at 10pm. And possibly its last.

Sunday, May 1
- ‘Penny Dreadful’ is back for a third season on Showtime at 10pm.




NETFLIX

Wednesday, April 27
- Season 3 ‘The Fosters’

Friday, April 29
- Season 1 ‘Danger Mouse’

Saturday, April 30
- Season 2 ‘Sensitive Skin’

Sunday, May 1
- Seasons 1 – 3 ‘Easy Living’
- Season 1 ‘LoliRock’

Your Television Premiere Dates for the Week of April 11 - 17, 2016

NEWS

FYI cancelled ‘Kocktails With Khloe’ and the world is better for it. Look for the finale episode of this primetime talk-fest to air on April 20.




PREMIERE DATES

Monday, April 11
- ‘The Detour’ debuts on TBS at 9pm. It’s about a family on vacation. TBS believes they’re “very funny”, but their track record hasn’t proven that. My advice… Turn around and forget ‘The Detour’.
- ‘Hunters’ debuts on SyFy at 10pm. Based on Whitley Strieber’s novel ‘Alien Hunter’, it centers around the disappearance of a decorated Philadelphia policeman’s wife.

Tuesday, April 12
- ‘The Mindy Project’ is back from it’s midseason hiatus on Hulu with all new weekly episodes.
- NBC has a sneak preview of ‘Game Of Silence’ for you at 10pm. Five childhood friends reunite and they have a secret from days gone by… blah, blah, blah. Based on a Turkish series. Regular day and time begins on April 14 at 10pm.

Wednesday, April 13
- ‘Strong’ is a new reality competition series with 10 of America’s best trainers work with people that have “potential”. This sneak preview airs at 9pm with it’s regular time/day April 14 at 8pm.

Thursday, April 14
- ‘Strong’ time slot debut at 8pm on NBC.
- ‘American Grit’ debuts at 9pm on FOX. It’s a reality competition series hosted by Professional Wrestler John Cena.
- Season 4 of ‘Orphan Black’ drops on BBC America at 10pm.
- ‘Game Of Silence’ time slot debut at 10pm on NBC.

Friday, April 15
- ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ is back for a second season on Netflix. This made my Top 5 Best New Shows of 2015 and I will be all over this one.
- ‘Thunderbirds Are Go’ is a remake of the 1960s British TV series that mixes CGI and live-acton model sets. This series reboot is on Amazon.

Sunday, April 17
- Season 2 of ‘Good Witch’ drops on Hallmark at 9pm.



NETFLIX

Monday, April 11
- Season 2 ‘TURN: Washington’s Spies’

Tuesday, April 12
- Season 1 ‘AJIN’

Friday, April 15
- Season 3 ‘Cuckoo’

Your Television Premiere Dates for the week of March 28 - April 3, 2016

My apologies for the lateness of this update. There's not a whole lot going on, but there is at least one new show that I plan on checking out. Again, all times are Eastern.

PREMIERE DATES

Wednesday, March 30
- ‘The Path’ debuts on Hulu. Aaron Paul’s (Jesse Pinkman ‘Breaking Bad’) latest series that looks good on the surface. It certainly has my attention along with Chigger’s.
- ‘Empire’ is back for it’s Spring premiere on FOX at 9pm.
- ‘Lopez’ debuts on TV Land at 10pm. This is yet another George Lopez vehicle that the majority of the public may ignore. But you gotta give the guy credit; he gets knocked off and hops back on the horse every time.

Thursday, March 31
- ‘Rush Hour’ debuts on CBS at 10pm. Yes, it’s based on the series of popular movies. And the CBS audience tends to dig police procedurals. This should do well despite my lack of enthusiasm.

Friday, April 1
- ‘The Ranch’ debuts on Netflix. This sitcom is about two brothers running a ranch in Colorado. Will it be as funny as Francis’ time running a ranch for a German couple on ‘Malcolm In The Middle’? I seriously doubt it. But I’ll give it a shot.
- ‘Banshee’ returns for its fourth and final season on Cinemax at 10pm.

Sunday, April 3
- Season five of ‘Call The Midwife’ returns to PBS. Check your local listings for time.



NETFLIX

Monday, March 28
- Season 10 ‘Trailer Park Boys’

Friday, April 1
- Season 5 ‘Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown’
- Season 1 ‘Beat Bobby Flay’
- Season 5 ‘Bob’s Burgers’
- Seasons 3 & 4 ‘Cutthroat Kitchen’
- Season 2 ‘Fixer Upper’
- Season 7 ‘Giada At Home’
- Seasons 1 & 2 ‘The Great Food Truck Race’
- Season 1 ‘Kids Baking Championship’
- Season 1 ‘Lost & Found Music Studios’
- Season 4 ‘Love It Or List It, Too’
- Season 1 ‘Property Brothers At Home’

Your Television Premiere Dates for the week of March 7 - 13, 2016

Someone requested that I also list the mid-season premiere dates so I'm honoring that request. The only reason I kept them off my lists is because responsible television viewers have their DVRs set to record the full season where every show is captured. But not everyone is as serious and responsible as I am when it comes to television.

So lets get to it...

PREMIERE DATES

Monday, March 7
- ‘Bates Motel’ is back for another season on A&E at 9pm.
- That’s followed by the debut of ‘Damien’ at 10pm also on A&E. And yes, it is connected with ‘The Omen’. I will have a review for it soon here to see if it’s worth our time.

Tuesday, March 8
- ‘Fresh Off The Boat’ sees a new time at 8pm as well as ‘The Real O’Neals’ at 8:30pm on ABC.
- ‘Agents of SHIELD’ returns from hiatus at 9pm on ABC.
- ‘Of Kings & Prophets’ debuts at 10pm also on ABC. It’s a period piece capitalizing on the popularity of anything with a sword in it ala ‘Game Of Thrones’. To be completely honest, I’m not even going to bother with this one. We were all burned by ‘The Bastard Executioner’ of FX.
- The season premiere of ‘Chrisley Knows Best’ hits USA at 10pm.

Wednesday, March 9
- The debut of ‘Underground’ drops on WGN America at 10pm. It’s more of a thriller than a history lesson concerning slavery and the Underground Railroad. Lots of big names connected to this series both behind and in front of the cameras.

Friday, March 11
- ‘Bosch’ is back for a second season on Amazon.
- Will Arnett seems to be animated gold for Netflix (BoJack Horseman), but can he pull off another live-action series? ‘Flaked’ is a series where Arnett is Chip, a self-help guru that must try to stay ahead of his lies. All 8 episodes drop at midnight.

Sunday, March 13
- Since we obviously need even MORE Steve Harvey, ‘Little Big Shots’ debuts on NBC at 8pm. It’s billed as a comedy-variety series. And it’s a fantastic avenue for Steve Harvey to make even more faces of disbelief and if we’re lucky… The patented drop to one knee. I can hardly wait
- ‘The Carmichael Show’ made it to a second season and a new time slot at 9pm on NBC.



NETFLIX PREMIERE DATES


Monday, March 7
- ‘Cuckoo’ Seasons 1 & 2

Wednesday, March 9
- ‘The Returned’ Season 1

Thursday, March 10
- ‘Comedy Bang! Bang!’ Season 4 part 3 (whatever that means)

Friday, March 11
- ‘Dinotrux’ Season 2
- ‘The Characters’ Season 1
- ‘Popples’ Season 2

Your Television Premiere Dates for the week of February 22 - 28, 2016

There's not a whole lot to talk about in the premiere department this week. But that's to be expected at the end of a sweeps month.

In news, A&E has cancelled 'Unforgettable'. As you may recall, this series was cancelled by CBS after three seasons and A&E picked it up. Although I've only seen the show in passing, this news didn't shock me.



Tuesday, February 23
- The second season of ‘This Is Not Happening’ drops on Comedy Central at 12:30am (All times are EST)


Friday, February 26
- You’ve heard about it. You’ve read about it. Now it’s finally here on Netflix… ‘Fuller House’. All episodes drop at once for your weekend viewing pleasure.



For some reason, people are excited about 'Fuller House' coming to Netflix. Personally, I thought 'Full House' was a wasteland of bad jokes and cute kids.

Decades ago, I was picking a woman up for a date when that show was on in her apartment. I saw it on, but didn't say a word. Sure, I made a snap judgment about the people watching it. And they are intelligent people that I still know. But what disturbed me the most was when Bob Saget came down the stairs excited about his first date in a very long time and he was singing "Rock And Roll All Nite".

I hate that song and I'm good if I never hear it again for the rest of my life. But it was just awful hearing that song from a band that people loved to hate back in those days. KISS was and is still my favorite rock band of all time. It felt as if the band was being sanitized in a way. It made KISS less threatening. Bob Saget was singing it on a really bad cutesy comedy! It was sort of devastating to me. And I believe that I complained incessantly about it to my date that night.

We managed to stay friends all these years despite my hatred of 'Full House' and that episode in question. But I care nothing about this revisit on Netflix.

Now I am all about the 'Gilmore Girls' revisit on Netflix! I cannot wait until they start rolling that joker out!

Revisiting Past Faves

When was the last time you went back and watched a television series that you love?

There are plenty of great new television shows out there these days. I’m not disputing that at all. But have you even thought about revisiting the ones that you either loved or just kind of liked?

During the holidays, I got into a bit of a “show hole”. I had finally cleaned the DVR of current shows that I needed to get caught up on and had nothing left. I had finally finished the current seasons of ‘Narcos’ and ‘House Of Cards’ on Netflix. I devoured ‘Catastrophe’ (meh), the new season of ‘Transparent’, and the new series ‘The Man In The High Castle’.

So I loaded up some old favorites like ‘Futurama’, ‘3rd Rock From The Sun’, ‘Malcolm In The Middle’, and ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ on Netflix. I also have ‘The X-Files’ and ‘Supernatural’ going because Chigger needs to see them. It seems like I’ve been trying to get her caught up on the latter for 2 years now. She doesn’t have as much “down time” as I do with two kids. And now since there’s a new house in the mix she’s busier than a one-armed man in a glory hole factory.

I had ‘Futurama’ already running because I would watch it whenever Chigger got a phone call or she was getting ready for bed. Her phone calls and nightly regimen usually takes around 20 minutes. The show is perfect for squeezing in an episode. Sometimes the calls would take longer so I’d be able to watch two episodes.

And over on Amazon Prime TV, I’m currently revisiting ‘Star Trek’ (TOS), ‘The Wire’, ‘Justified’ and ‘The Sopranos’. I’m finding things in them that I had forgotten. As much as I loved ‘Justified’ and ‘ The Sopranos’, things are coming back to me.

From here on out, I plan on keeping an old favorite in my rotation. Not just the stuff like ‘Earthworm Jim’ and ‘Newhart’ that I’ve been buying up on DVD. I want to keep at least one oldie running on Netflix and Amazon Prime TV.

So I urge you, the lover of television that you are… Go back and revisit your old friends on your favorite streaming sites. Get to know them again. You may even find that you have outgrown them (I discovered that ‘Invaders’ wasn’t the great sci-fi series that I thought it was when I was growing up).

Feel free to tell us about the favorites that you’ve been revisiting along with the streaming sites that you’re using.

My Revamped/Retooled All-Time Favorite TV Shows - Number 10

It has been difficult to review and retool my personal Top 10 TV Shows of All-Time. I have had a long standing list for at least a decade that didn’t change. But since there has been an explosion of great television within the last decade, I decided to give it a go.

I agonized. I drank too much. I lost some hair. I drew up new lists and threw them away only to make another. But it had to be done.

A few of my standards fell like soldiers on grenades to allow the new recruits to live and fight another battle down the road. Soldiers like ‘The Tick’ (animated series), ‘Lost’, ‘The X-Files’, ‘The Twilight Zone’, and ‘Police Squad’.

Lets recap my personal Top 10 TV Shows of All-Time…

9. ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’
8. ‘Futurama’
7. ‘The Walking Dead’
6. ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’
5. ‘Supernatural’
4. ‘Seinfeld’
3. ‘Malcolm In The Middle’
2. ‘Newhart’
1. ‘Green Acres’

As you may have noticed, I have a thing for half hour comedies. And I have been revisiting ‘Futurama’, ‘Supernatural’, and ‘Malcolm In The Middle’ on Netflix.

I had a holiday “show hole” so I went back. Personally, I feel that it’s important to revisit. I also have ‘Star Trek’ (TOS), ‘The Sopranos’, and ‘The Wire’ going on Amazon Prime.

But lets get to it… My number 10 of my personal favorite shows…

‘Get A Life’ starring Chris Elliott, Bob Elliott, and Elinor Donahue.

Chris Peterson is a 30 year old paperboy who lives over the garage of his parent’s home. The show is surreal and hilarious! The series has Chris Peterson dying more than a handful of times like a cartoon character. And he always manages to bounce back.

The series ran for only 2 seasons and when the complete series hit DVD, I jumped on it like dry drunk on a found bottle of bourbon. It was in my hands on the release date thanks to Amazon Prime.

When it hit FOX in the early 90s, my parents would come home from church to find me and my girlfriend “Jones” rolling on the floor with laughter and tears.

Is it for everyone?

No. The series was very unconventional. Some easily dismissed the series as “stupid”. And that’s okay. It’s stupid funny and that’s the bottom line.

One of my favorite lines from the “The Prettiest Week Of My Life” episode goes like this…

“Someone once said that the worst thing about climbing a mountain is that once you reach to top there's nowhere else to go. Well, I don't know what the hell that means. I think it has something to do with camping. But one thing I do know is that for a single fleeting moment I had peaked. I was a winner. I felt like Secretariat the night he won the Indy 500.”

It’s the kinda crap that I say all the time! And the Indy 500 is always ran during daylight and with cars. Secretariat was a horse. That is hilarious!

There are so many things about that show that manage to crack me up to tears to this day.

Another line that “Jones” and I use to this day… “Not even Roy Clark?”

That was in response to his supermodel wife saying “No one in Hollywood can do you what you did last night” after their wedding night.

It’s fun to use. Try it sometime. You’ll get some looks.

Brian Doyle Murray stars in the second season and you’ll find some interesting names in the writing credits.

Rhino Home Video put out some “best ofs” after the series left us. I managed to purchase one before they were gone. But when the whole series hit DVD from Shout! Factory, I was celebrating like a madman. I marked my calendar. I prayed to live long enough to see them all again.

And if you try ‘Get A Life’ and you dig it, try the Chris Elliott film ‘Cabin Boy’. It’s not for everyone just like this series. But it’s damn funny.

And for some reason, stoners really enjoy that movie as well. ;)

My Revamped/Retooled All-Time Favorite TV Shows - Number 9

So now we’re getting back to my retooled and revamped of my all-time favorite televisions shows. We’re up to number 9…

‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’

I didn’t care for the film that the TV series was based on. Hell, I had to soldier through season one of ‘Buffy’. It moved slower than dry paint.

BUT season one is necessary for things to come in the series. It provides the appetizer to what turns out to be one of the best dramedies ever broadcast on television.

The series follows Buffy Summers as she trains to fulfill the role of Vampire Slayer. She comes from a long line of slayers and unlike those before her; she relies on her friends for aid.

She also slays demons and other evil deities.

Sure, the series comes across in a comic book sort of way. But that’s not a bad thing. It keeps things light. The series is filled with pop culture references that you may need to wiki-watch for better understanding.

But then there are serious moments that show the series strengths in writing and acting.

If you need proof, just watch ‘The Body’ episode from season five. The episode has been hailed by many critics as one of the best television episodes ever broadcast.

I don’t want to tell you anymore than that since I’m not into giving away spoilers.

Sarah Michelle Gellar didn’t receive an Emmy for that performance and I consider that a travesty. The show was stripped of its usual score and effects. And it drove the reason home as to why ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ was too good to capture the attention of the masses. If the series had of been on CBS, FOX, ABC, or FOX they would have canned it during the first season.

‘Buffy’ is one of the few series that I purposely collected every season on DVD. I have turned a handful of people onto this series and if you haven’t tried it yet, do so. Do it as soon as possible.

The series ran for seven seasons.

And if you’re into musicals, check out the episode “Once More With Feeling”. I despise musicals, but dammit… I hate to admit it… It’s a fine, fine episode when the cast is under a spell of singing.

The series finale… Yes. I loved it. In my opinion, they got it right.

As for the spinoff ‘Angel’, I tried it. I didn’t care for it at all.

Your Television Premiere Date for the week of Jan 18 - 24, 2016

News

In case you missed it… NBC has cancelled ‘Heroes Reborn’. Sure, it was only a “one off”, but I’m sure that if it flourished it would have been given a renewal. The second season of 'Heroes' really shed the viewers and like me, none of them came back for this limited series.

CBS has announced that ‘Mike & Molly’ will not be renewed. The show is in its sixth and final season. I have not watched a full episode, but from what I’ve seen we’re much better off without another show littered with stupid fat jokes. It was a one trick pony. Good riddance. Hopefully this will open a slot for something worthy of our attention. Since it’s CBS we’re talking about, I wouldn’t count on it.



PREMIERE DATES

Monday, January 18
- ‘War & Peace’ kicks off at 9pm on A&E. It’s a limited series.
- ‘Hit The Floor’ is back for a third season over on VH1 at 9pm.

Tuesday, January 19
- ‘Team Ninja Warrior’ is a spinoff from NBC’s ‘American Ninja Warrior’ and debuts at 8pm on Esquire.
- ‘Agent Carter’ is back for a second season on ABC at 9pm.

Thursday, January 21
- The long awaited ‘Legends Of Tomorrow’ debuts at 8pm on the CW.
- The season three premiere of ‘The 100’ drops on the CW at 9pm.
- ‘Baskets’ premieres on FX at 10pm. It is being sold to us as a comedy, but I fail to find anything to laugh at in the promos. And just over the weekend, I found out that the main character is a clown. And since the promos failed to get a chuckle out of me, there’s no reason to waste time on 30 minutes of more.
- ‘London Spy’ debuts at 10pm on BBC America. The series has been described at a gripping, emotional thriller.
- Over on IFC, it’s the sixth season premiere of ‘Portlandia’.
- ‘Dark Net’ debuts on Showtime at 11pm. It’s a documentary series exploring the underside of the Internet.

Friday, January 22
- ‘Mad Dog’ arrives on Amazon. A group gets together for an early retirement and things come to light. Secrets and even murder.
- The seventh season of ‘Children’s Hospital’ gets cranked up over on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim at 11pm.

Saturday, January 23
- ‘Chelsea Does’ is a new documentary series starring comedian Chelsea Handler. In other words, it’s a reality series. Not my cup of tea, but it may be your kinda Tetley. Only on Netflix.
- Season three of ‘Black Sails’ hits the open waters of Starz at 9pm.
- 'Beowulf' debuts on Esquire at 10pm.

Sunday, January 17
- The long awaited return of the limited run of ‘The X-Files’ hits FOX at 7pm (or shortly after the NFC Championship Game).



FINALES

Thursday, January 21
- We say goodbye to ‘Heroes Reborn’ at 8pm. NBC announced its cancellation with this “limited run” series. I’m sure they brought it back thinking of capitalizing on the runs DC and Marvel Comics are having across the board. But like they said in the film ‘Christine’… You can’t polish a turd.



NETFLIX


Thursday, January 21
- ‘When Calls The Heart’ Season 2

Various Artists 'TeeVee Toons Presents Television's Greatest Hits'

We’re counting down my Top 5 Best New Shows of 2015 and my number two is a half-hourish comedy from Netflix… ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’!

Kimmy (Ellie Kemper) is a naïve woman rescued from a Doomsday cult. She decides that she’s going to live in New York City where she meets up with new roommate Titus (Titus Burgess). Titus wants to be the next Broadway star. There’s also the landlady Lillian (Carol Kane) who is a running gag of nuts and Jacqueline (Jane Krakowski) who is way too privileged to even identify with the common folk.

The show’s theme song is unforgettable, annoying, and yet hard to keep from singing over and over… Dammit.

‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ was passed over at the last minute by NBC and Netflix picked up this comedy gem. Personally, I don’t think it would have pulled in the millions needed to keep it alive on NBC so I’m grateful to Netflix. The comedy is too smart for the over-the-air broadcast television masses. It moves to rapid and requires the viewer to actually no a little something about pop culture.

The great thing about Kimmy is that she’s still the naïve 15 year old that was tucked away in the Doomsday shelter. She’s still wide-eyed and easily impressed. She’s the perfect fish-out-of-water type of character with a massive amount of optimism that makes ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ so damn likable.

Titus is hilarious in overdrive. I mean, who can forget “Pinot Noir”?

Carol Kane is oddly funny as the landlady with the left out of field inappropriate comments.

‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’ is a rapid fire comedy that will please anyone with the tiniest of funny bones. Some of the funniest moments come when the show skewers Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden, the lead prosecutors in the OJ Simpson case. And then there’s the unforgettable crashing of an Asian funeral where Titus sings a Boys II Men song.

If they’re not laughing, they’re dead. And that’s all it is to it.

For some reason, the links to the YouTube vids aren't working. So just copy and paste in your browser. Yeah, it may be over my simple-minded head.

Unforgettable ear-worm of an opening theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIdFa1qLgNQ

Pinot Noir. 'Nuff said. Enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6yttOfIvOw

Berlin 'Count Three And Pray'

I’ve been feeling like my list of all-time favorite television shows needed a facelift. I know that it’s all about my age showing, but some of my all-time faves will be timeless. At least, that’s the thought that I’m clinging to.


First up – ‘Green Acres’



Still holds up as a fish-out-of-water series about a New York City lawyer giving up his big city job and ways to get back to the simple life of farming. He wants to be another vertebra in the “backbone of America”. But he doesn’t find the simple life in Hooterville. He finds out that his neighbors are just as whacked out as the kooks in the big city and that life in Hooterville is just as aggravating as the rat race in the city.

Sure, it seems out of place in this cell phone/Internet world to see Oliver Douglas climb up a pole to use the telephone. But would he have cell service in Hooterville?

The show twisted my humor at an early age. I remember watching it when it aired on television during primetime. And still to this very day, I manage to work in a Green Acre-ism gag into every day joking around.

The show is often seen as corny, but the comedy is so twisted that it’s actually beyond corny. At times, the comedy is quite surreal.

And I’m still waiting on seasons four through six to arrive on DVD even though the final season was a dismal attempt at trying to reflect the times and the changing attitude of the CBS Network. They wanted less rural shows with more gritty tones.


Second – ‘Newhart’



Like ‘Green Acres’, this is another fish-out-of-water series. A big city how-to book author buys an Inn to run while writing his books. His wife more or less runs the Inn and they find out that the town is loaded with kooks and the eccentrics. The entire first season has the show finding its legs, but it really picks up in season two and it’s full steam ahead zany. It has the same comedic qualities that ‘Green Acres’ has. And the series finale is still considered one of the all-time great finales in television history. And the Bob Newhart still works in his favorite gag… Having a conversation on the telephone. It was a staple in his comedy stand-up routine.

I’m also still waiting on the final four seasons to make their way onto DVD.


Third – ‘Malcolm In The Middle’



Are you sensing a pattern here?

Yeah, I like the half hour comedies the most. I like to laugh and if it’s good comedy that lacks the typical one-liner fare that the wildly popular series builds shows upon, I’m all in. I want creative comedy. Comedy that keeps giving long after the show is over or gone. ‘Malcolm In The Middle’ is just that. The show comes off fairly surreal at times because it’s more or less a recollection from the title character. He breaks down the fourth wall and narrates at times.

I’ve recently started watching this series all over again on Netflix. I own the first and only season on DVD. And I would JUMP at the chance to own the rest on DVD.

For seven seasons, ‘Malcolm In The Middle’ brought it. At times, it left you in tears from laughing. And the beauty is that every family member is a genius at something even if you cannot see it at first.

The series also showed me that I’m happy that I never had brothers. Yes, the family bond is strong but dealing with a brother on a daily basis seems to involve pain and competition. So I’m pleased that I was the only boy with two sisters.

‘Malcolm In The Middle’ is an example of a perfect series. It was strong for seven seasons. The series finale was not only great, but it had series closure in the artistic sense. And since I’m not into spoilers, I will leave it at that.

Tool 'Undertow'

I want to write about something close and dear to my heart. One of the things that keep me hoping for another day on this earth… Television.

Say what you want about wasting my life sitting and watching some fictional world unfold in front of me. I don’t care. If you’re an avid reader, then you really have no argument. You’re just as bad. Just because you read and visualize the words in your head doesn’t allow you to mount some high horse.

I don’t care for the average ilk that’s offered by the major over-the-air networks. That’s easily digestible crap for the masses. They don’t offer much in the lines of making the viewer think and dissect the story lines for insight or predictions. Like I’ve said many times… If you’re gonna waste your time watching television, make it quality television.

I’d like to write about binge watching.

I don’t like to do it, but sometimes it’s an unnecessary evil.

And then there’s the revisit binge watch. I recently did that with all four seasons of the great and mostly forgotten ‘Newhart’ series. I haven’t seen most of those episodes for something like twenty years. ‘Newhart’ was the ‘Green Acres’ of its time. It was doing well in syndication until a juggernaut by the name of ‘Seinfeld’ knocked it to the side. ‘Newhart’ was cast to the ditch like syndication road kill. And that’s really too bad. The comedy was top notch and still gets me laughing today.

I found myself doing a little binge watching the other day. The Chigger was camping out with friends and family this weekend at a bluegrass festival in Denton, NC. I opted out of it because for one thing, I DON’T CAMP. And the one day pass for a show was $40 was the other reason. I can easily fork over that kinda chunk for a rock/hard rock day, but listening to bluegrass all day would cause me to have a “Sheer Heart Attack”.

That’s a Queen reference for those of you that do not know.

Don’t get me wrong, I like bluegrass. I just can’t take 23 hours of it out of my day.

So with Chigs gone, I did a little binge watching to catch up on some of our shows. I’m up to date on ‘Under The Dome’, which is quickly losing my interest. It’s turning into the usual fare that Stephen King has been offering since the novel ‘It’. His sci-fi stuff starts off interesting enough, but then it become tedious, boring, and you just want it over with.

Then I attacked a candidate for one of my “Best New Shows of 2014” for The Less Desirables podcast… ‘The Strain’. I didn’t get caught up yet, but I’m totally digging their take on vampires. It remains mostly true to common lure and they’re not flying thru treetops or glistening in sunlight in the pursuit of teenage love.

I still have ‘Ray Donovan’, ‘Masters Of Sex’, ‘Dallas’, and ‘Hell On Wheels’ to catch up on. I’m becoming tired of ‘Ray Donovan’. I’ve been saving ‘Dallas’ and ‘Hell On Wheels’ for time with Chigger. We’re not that far behind on the latter. Only two episodes, I think.

I understand the binge watcher. Hell, Chigger could binge watch the for unlawful carnal knowledge out of ‘Orange Is The New Black’. I just like a steady rotation to work my gray matter in trying to remember story lines. I try to keep my mind sharp by working it instead of vege’ing out on one series.

But I do have a dilemma… The 2004 reboot of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ is about to come to an end on Netflix. I saw them as they all aired, but Chigger is just now watching this great series. So I must try to tie her down to a couch and send her kids out to the movies in order to finish the series with her. We have two seasons and two episodes left. It’s a tall order with her, but I think it’s something we can achieve if we put her mind to it.

Are you a binge watcher? What series really make you a couch potato?

Feel free to leave your comments.