Clang Quartet 'The Separation Of Church & Hate'

Have you gotten your tax refund(s) back yet?

I filed for the first time online and had checks from the Feds and State within 2 weeks. You can’t imagine how amazed this rather pessimistic person was when they hit my bank account.

Instead of spending it on something frivolous like out-of-print Get A Life DVD’s, closing up the holes in my Buffy The Vampire Slayer DVD collection with seasons six and seven, or a docking station for my Zune… I let those jokers ride in my bank account.

After all, I’m only lucky enough to have found employment part-time and rainy days come and go. So I’d better leave that dinero in my account for a rainy day that may not be on my immediate forecast.

My tax return has always been earmarked for something frivolous and very permanent… A tattoo.

But something always comes up where I can’t spend my return having ink inserted with needles into the layers of my skin. Oh sure, I’ve heard from tattooed people that not having the immediate funds wouldn’t affect their decisions… I guess that I’m just practical and value the dollar more than having art inked on me with a side of slight discomfort.

I’ve found the perfect tattoo idea and I’d love to show you, but I can’t find the image on Google and my book is packed away in storage. The artwork is a caricature of Lisa and Oliver Douglas in their famous “American Gothic” pose from the opener of Green Acres. The artwork calls for black and gray inks that would show up nicely on my semi-pale skin. I want it on the outside of my calf on my right leg.



I’ve seen everything from the members of KISS, confederate flags, the General Lee (Dukes Of Hazzard), flowers, butterflies, hula girls, crosses, Motley Crue, to tribal armbands and I don’t find it stupid at all. A Green Acres tattoo represents me and all that I stand for… Seemingly stupid revealed to be intelligent with razor sharp wit buried beneath upon closer inspection.

Green Acres was a staple in my life starting from a very young age. I even remember the show being on the television in the primetime hours. And when the show went into syndication, I was in heaven… Green Acres five days a week!

I planned my days around reruns of that show. And along with The Beverly Hillbillies, that show shaped my young mind. It twisted my sense of humor and caused my brain to think outside that proverbial box. To this day I will answer a question or comment meant for someone else because of that show. For example:

“You’re looking beautiful tonight,” Gordy said to Penelope.

Without giving time for Penelope to answer, I said, “Thank you! It’s wonderful of you to notice!”

I’ve recently forced my girlfriend Jamie to watch episodes of Green Acres. I record them from TV Land with her DVR. She remembered watching the show when she was younger, but she never realized how funny the show was until I force fed one episode to her. Now it’s pretty much expected that we watch a few episodes with adult beverages in hand when we get together. We will often end up on the floor with teary-eyed laughter.

But the show does polarize people… They either love it or hate it and that always tells me a lot about that person. Which side do you fall on?

--I know this won’t be a shock to some of you, but I’ll be taking a week off from updating this blog. Jamie and I are headed for Cape Hatteras next week. We’re going to ride a ferry, look at a lighthouse, check out Kitty Hawk, find pubs to crawl to, and look out over the ocean. Perhaps I’ll have some pictures for you on the next update.

I really wanted to drop by the museum that’s housing artifacts that are believed to be from Blackbeard’s ship Queen Anne’s Revenge. Edward Teach and his Blackbeard legacy has intrigued me since I started watching Green Acres. The dude was a kickass believer in presentation. He was pro wrestling and KISS when it came to presenting himself… Very showy. I guess that’s one of the reasons Blackbeard intrigued me so much. But time just won’t let us drop by for a gander.

I’ll just try to get Jamie hammered and sign a statement saying that we’ll burn a beach day to go look at old things.

Have a good one folks and you can follow my happenings here at Twitter.