Thursday, April 23, 2009

Gipsy Kings 'este mundo'

Jamie and I left for the Outer Banks on Easter Morning (I kept forgetting that it was Easter) around 8:30am. That’s an early time for me to start traveling, but we had to drop off Lucy (Jamie’s dog that can lick Teddy off Mt. Rushmore) at Dianna’s for a short stay.

We stopped for some breakfast at Bo Jangle’s (love those Cajun filet biscuits) and the parade of well-dressed church folk. One gentleman caught my attention… He was a man that appeared to be approaching his 70’s with slick black hair and large golden-rimmed glasses. He was probably one of the few remaining men in North Carolina that uses Vitalis with regularity. But those weren’t the things that got my attention… He was dressed in a loose purple suit with red pinstripes and red kerchief in the breast pocket.

Not to sound like a racial profiler here, but that’s not the kind of suit that you’d find on a retired white guy with an average looking Church Lady kind of wife in King, North Carolina.

On Halloween?

Sure. Why not?

But not on Easter morning.

The guy looked like a cross between Gomez Adams and Sean “Puffy” Combs. When we left, I scanned the parking lot for a large 4WD pick-up truck complete with a gun rack and spinners. I didn’t see that, but I did notice a silver Chrysler 300 with a John Deere license plate on the front.

With that stand-out-of-the-day in our rearview mirror, we proceeded onto Greensboro to hit the Best Buy. Jamie needed a new digital camera and the joint was on our way.

We arrived to find the parking lot devoid of passenger vehicles. I wasn’t so shocked because it was shortly after 10am. The sign informed us that the joint wouldn’t open until 11am. I knew another Best Buy could be found in Burlington, but it wasn’t going to be open when we would be driving through… So Jamie got on the horn and called a friend to search the web for Best Buy stores along our route.

Jennifer told us about the Best Buy in Rocky Mount, NC. She gave Jamie directions that were quickly confused with other things not written down and we took an obviously wrong exit. But we got back on track and found the right course.

Imagine our surprise to find the parking lot of a large strip mall completely empty. Jamie’s Taurus, a Subaru Outback checking Best Buy like us, and tumbleweeds were the only things rolling around in that lot.

I was in complete and utter amazement!

There were no signs on the door… Only the steel door drawn to the floor told us they were closed for Easter.

Did I mention that I kept forgetting it was Easter?

Jamie needed that camera because she’s a picture FREAK! I’ve never met anyone that goes through serious withdrawal if she doesn’t hear a picture being snapped every hour. I find it rather amusing and annoying at times when the thing is pointed at me.

She said, “I wonder if there’s a Wal-Mart close by…”

When we were pulling out of the ghost town lot, I looked to my right and there it was… The Wal-Mart and it’s butt hole logo.

She picked up a cool new Kodak camera and we were back on our way.

We made a quick stop at the Roanoke Island rest area. I was amazed at the smell one man could produce while I made my offering of gold to the porcelain gods. I could hear him wiping away in his stall. He was going to town in there… It sounded as if he was cleaning a penguin after the Exxon Valdez oil spill. It was a combination of dig, wipe, wipe, dig, wipe, wipe, wipe over and over again. I made sure to look at my feet after he flushed because I was afraid that his bowl was going to overflow with his refuse. I got my kegel muscles ready to stop the flow so that I could move to higher ground.

Then the dude opened the stall door and made an exit like Batman. I didn’t see him or hear him… And I especially didn’t hear him wash his hands.

Oooooo I hate that! I washed my hands and used paper towels on every door to exit the building. Nothing grosses me out more than a non-hand washer. ESPECIALLY after a toxic dump offering to the gods.

The rest of the ride was uneventful and my Zune kept us in non-repeating music for over 7 hours to Cape Hatteras.

More tomorrow and thanks for checking in!


  1. Anonymous12:38 AM

    Hey babe! You forgot to add the part about your buttholish behavior in Walmart... and how I have gladly adopted a new phrase for you thanks to Allyson. :)

  2. Hey, I get bored... I sat patiently on some nearby patio furniture.