Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Soul II Soul 'Club Classics Vol. One / 10th Anniversary Edition'

There’s something I’ve really started to notice since reaching the age of 40... I’m falling apart.

My nearsightedness hasn’t changed, but I have noticed that I can’t read anything without holding things away from me. That is when I’m wearing contact lenses or my glasses. Sometimes I have to put a compact disc a wall and walk across the room to read it.

Here’s the real kick in the butt: When I take off my glasses to read small print, I have to put that joker practically against my corneas to see it.

With corrective lenses… Hold objects faraway to read.

Without corrective lenses… Bring objects up to the bridge of my nose.

It just blows my mind!

I get weird stabbing pains that appear from nowhere and a few minutes later… The stabbing mystery pain is gone.

A couple of weeks ago, I got out of bed and stretched a muscle that resides over my left heel bone. All I did was get up!

That little weirdness lasted for almost a week.

I’ve recently started to notice that I’ve been the lucky genetic recipient of arthritis. Yes indeed… My mother warned me and now that hamsters have come to roost. Sometimes my fingers feel like they’re full of broken glass.

The line from the Rolling Stones’ song “Mother’s Little Helper” is becoming a lot clearer to me these days… “What a drag it is getting old…”

By reader suggestion, I have decided to include my ailment of the day at the end of each blog entry. Just keep an eye out.

--I’m sure you’ve heard who McCain has chosen for a running mate by now… Sarah Palin.

I honestly don’t know anything about her, but she’s a stone cold fox! She could give a speech sharing her support for putting unmarried men over the age of 40 to death and my mind would be hearing “blah, blah, blah” while screaming “take it off”!

And those glasses! Those glasses have me believing that there’s a naughty little cougar hiding behind those lenses. A naughty Republican that may enjoy surprising me with a bottle of Jim Beam, a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, and some Luv Rub while wearing just a hockey sweater. A short hockey sweater and I don’t care about what team she’d be wearing.

--Wanna know the biggest problem I have with Barack Obama paraphernalia?

His poster looks like a poorly illustrated postage stamp from a Third World country. It also looks like one of those 3D illustrations. I just haven’t bothered to break out my 3D glasses to see if Mr. Liberal seems more lifelike. And quite frankly, I don’t care.

I’m voting for the Libertarian candidate, Bob Barr… In case you’re interested. But I must admit… Palin is drawing me closer to the GOP.

If McCain becomes our next President… I hope they have the sense to put out 2009 “The Girls Of The GOP” calendar.

Today's Ailment: Stiffness in my back from sleeping 10 hours.


  1. I was told by a guy that Palin is a GILF. G stands for governor.
    Yeah, I got the same problem with my eyes otherwise I'm 20/20.

  2. Beautiful!

    I'm going to shout GILF from the rooftops!

    Actually, I'll just mention it on the air.

  3. Anonymous9:38 PM

    Don't go to the Dark Side sir. It's evil over there. Althoug Palin scores some "normal people " points for having a drunken, pregnant teenage daughter, I find her to be as bland as the rest of the GOP. seriously though, a vote for the Libertarian Party is pretty much a throwaway vote.

    I sir shall be casting my vote for Obama-Biden in November. Why you ask? Beacsue McCain is 72 years old. If he kicks the bucket, we're stuck with a hockey mom as president. Is that what we really want? And who coined the term "Hockey Mom"? So lame. And is Alaska really a hard state to run? I have spoken to a native Alasksan (not named Whitley) and he tells me it wouldn't be that difficult to run the place.

  4. Charles... You ignorant slut.

    As long as you vote in what you believe in... You're not throwing your vote away. I'm speaking my piece and standing up for what I believe in.

  5. Anonymous1:22 AM

    Nice! Reading this saved me the hard work of having to come in and ask who you were voting for. I was talking to my Republican friend last night, and I was like "I bet Eugene is voting for Ron Paul!" (See, I got my no-chance candidates mixed up. I don't know why I keep thinking Paul's a third-party guy, but it may have something to do with him being somewhat of a nutcase. He's entertaining though, I will give him that. Same for Barr. We need more candidates like that, you know, not just saying the same old things over and over again.) Sadly, I will have to be voting for someone I vowed not to cast a vote for. I talked a lot of trash about his non-stances and lack of experience, but I owe a vote to his VP, so when the day comes, I shall suck it up and do the unthinkable. What a shameful turn of events.