Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Jimi Hendrix Expericence 'Live At Monterey'

Remember my friend Catey? The one that took me down on pit road for the Busch Series race in Charlotte?

She sent me this email accompanied by a picture of her at work…

I had a present from a client waiting for me when I got to work this morning. Not only do I get free crap, I have time to build a fort out of the free crap I get.

Now, THAT is what makes this the best job ever


--I noticed something odd today in our parking lot…

We have a white multi-purpose van that we use for messy jobs and for back up with big events like our Summertime Brewsfest. It’s just an unmarked white van. Nothing special and used for just about everything. We refer to the van by a couple of names… “Perv One” or “Stalker Van”.

Since Goatboy from the 2 Guys Named Chris Show got his car creamed last week, he’s been driving “Perv One” while it’s being repaired. And when I drove around it this morning, I couldn’t help but notice that it was leaning in a way that suggested a flat tire. Sure enough… It was. The left rear wheel was sitting on the rim.

Since Goatboy is responsible for the van while he’s using it, I went inside to inform him about the tire. I explained that my inspection revealed a large screw had punctured the tire. The screw needed to be removed and the tire plugged. Simple, quick, and cheap. Hell, I’ve even done that myself. And I’m not a mechanical person at all!

A little later, he told me that he was going to drive the van over to the garage across the street.

I said, “Hold it, Goat! You’re not driving that van on the rim. Not only could that ruin the tire, but that could ruin the rim too. Just take it off and take the tire across the street to get plugged.”

Guess what his response was… That’s right! Goatboy had never changed a tire in his life!

Since I didn’t really have the time to show him exactly what needed to be done, I gave him a quick tutorial. The most important parts of my tutorial was where to place the jack and to make sure the lug nuts were put back on tight and snug.

The only problem he had was twisting off the lug nuts. He was lifting instead of pushing to loosen them. I had to show him how to use his weight while pushing down to loosen those jokers. I had to learn that too.

All in all, Goatboy did all right and now he feels a little more manly. And I even got a sense of pride knowing that I had taught someone else how to change a tire.

My dad made me learn even before I started driving legally. And I passed on that knowledge to an old girlfriend who was exceptionally reluctant to learn.

My dad and I were rotating her tires… And I thought that it would be good for her to learn how to change a tire. This was right around 1990. Long before cell phones got popular and smaller than a loaf of bread. I felt that it would be a good thing for her to know in case she ever got caught with a flat. She could be out in the middle of nowhere or some overly kind stranger would want a little something more than a “thank you” in return.

She was livid as I sat there explaining how to loosen the lug nuts, how to jack the car up, and how to take off the lug nuts along with the tire. It really pissed her off that I wasn’t physically helping her. Every time my dad’s back was turned, she would whisper “motherf#cker” with her sweet southern accent. But once she tightened that last lug nut, she turned around with a smile on her face bigger than Dolly Parton’s two largest assets. She felt accomplished and empowered. She also helped us rotate the rest of her tires.

No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t get her to change her own oil. She left that messy job to me. Perfect for a guy that absolutely hates getting his hands dirty.

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