Monday, January 22, 2007

Rolling Stones 'Beggar's Banquet'

All right! I know I mentioned this last week and I haven’t written about it yet. Give me a break. I was sick.

Here it is now…

WCW’s Fall Brawl War Games took place in Winston-Salem on September 15th, 1996 at the LJVM Coliseum. It was a pay-per-view event broadcast around the globe for at least 2 other countries. It also marked the first appearance of Scott Hall (Razor Ramon) and Kevin Nash (Diesel) after leaving the WWE. It was a big deal to most wrestling fans.

Before the action started, Sean Whitley and I noticed someone sitting on the row in front of us. It was a local wrestler that performed under the names of “High Voltage” and “Matt Hardy”. Now Mr. Hardy performs before sellout crowds wherever he goes, but back then, only geeks like Sean and me knew who he was.

He was cool enough to chat with us for a little while. We think he ditched us because he excused himself and never came back. Oh well.

The event was pretty much a non-event because the WCW was on their way down. The true excitement for us was later found in the parking lot as we were leaving.

I had borrowed my sister’s Ford Tempo because I was driving Kim, Charles, and Sean to the event. It was a four door and it could fit everyone comfortably. I had to promise Pam that I would take care of it. Since I was driving other folks, I only allowed myself two beers during the evening.

The traffic situation was horrendous! No one was being the slightest bit polite by allowing other drivers out into the exiting flow of traffic. The drivers all bunched up to bumper of the other cars in front of them. Traffic was tighter than Phyllis Diller’s face.

Then I noticed that one driver had stopped paying attention to the traffic in front of him. A hole was developing between his car and the car in front of him. I looked at that driver several times in order to ask for permission to squeeze the front of the Tempo between them. He never looked my way.

So I did what any other person in my situation would… I stuck the nose of Pam’s Tempo in that hole.

Guess what that joker did?

He got visibly angry and drove his car into the left front fender of Pam’s car. That’s right! He hit me!

They had the windows rolled down and they were yelling things at us. I got out of the car with a look of utter disbelief on my face to inspect the possible damage. He didn’t hit us hard; he just kind of bumped us. The folks in the car started cranking on those window handles hard to roll up the windows especially when Sean’s 6’ 5” ass got out of the car.

I walked over to their car to ask what kind of problem the driver had and everyone in the car had a cell phone up to their ears. The (and I use this term loosely) lady yelled at me, “I’m calling the police right now to tell them that there’s a crazy drunk driving out here!”

“Go ahead,” I said, “Although it’s probably not a good idea to tell them that you HIT A DRUNK WITH YOUR CAR!

I knew there was no way a police cruiser would get to us anytime soon. I asked the guy for his insurance information in case something needed to be fixed on my sister’s car. He refused, so I wrote down his tags for future reference.

Here’s where it got more interesting…

My father came back with the driver’s information, including his address. He said, “You’ll never believe where this guy lives.”

As it turned out, he lived less than two miles from me.

My sister and her husband decided that the damage was very minimal and didn’t pursue any compensation. The matter was dropped.

A couple of days later, I dropped by the nearest McDonald’s to pick up breakfast on my way to work. Can you guess who was there?

That’s right! It was George! The very guy who hit me in the LJVM parking lot.

I walked up to his table where he was sitting and shooting the bull with his retired buddies. I said in the most annoyingly friendly voice, “Hey George! How are you doing?”

He looked at me with a puzzled look that I will never forget and asked, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“George… I’m shocked that you don’t remember me,” I said. “I was the drunk that you hit with your car after the wrestling the other night in Winston.”

He became visibly uncomfortable and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“George… I can’t believe that you don’t remember,” I said with the most insincere voice that I could muster. “I also can’t believe that we’re practically neighbors. I ran your tags and it turns out that you live just around the corner at so-and-so address. And I’m also guessing that you walk to this McDonald’s every morning by using the footpath by the fence in the back.”

I had noticed that footpath many times while sitting in the drive-thru. That particular McDonald’s was one of the busiest stores in the city of Greensboro.

George had turned around and tried to ignore me as his friends sat there staring at me with great astonishment.

“Well George, it has been a pleasant surprise catching up with you,” I said. “And you should be more careful in parking lots. You should think twice about getting angry and hitting someone with your car. They could be nuts, get your address by running your tags, and make your life a living hell. See ya ‘round, George!”

I left with my Egg McMuffin and Coke along with a big smile on my face.

Every time after that, I made sure to go inside whenever I picked up breakfast at that McDonald’s. Retirees are generally creatures of habit and so I made sure to say “hello” to George every time I could. Funny thing, he never returned my greeting.

Here’s a fun thing to try… Brad sent this link to me where you have to identify the artist and the clipped photo of their famous album cover. Brad and I are former Peaches Music & Video employees and we did rather poorly. Brad got a 32 and I got a 31. Can you do better?

Give it a try!

I've tried to get the link to work, but it ain't cooperating. Just copy and paste it in your browser.

Good luck!


  1. Anonymous11:50 AM

    I didn't know you were going to out me. Thanks a lot. Now I'll never be able to work in a record store again.

  2. Anonymous4:47 PM

    Wait? Do you know another "Kim" and "Charles" who like wrestling? That is fascinating... because it was not me, nor Mr Cable-Free. Fall of '96 I was in Charlottesville.

  3. Anonymous5:14 PM

    I sadly report that I got a lowly 8. There were five others where I knew the artist, but not the title.. and then when I looked at the answers, I realized I would not have known any of the others anyway. (Tina got 1.. and it was one of the ones that I didn't know.)

  4. Oopps... Sorry Kim and Charles! Now I'm really confused... I can't remember who went with us. Damn, getting old sucks!

  5. Sorry about that Brad... I should have written about how tough of a test it is.

    In my opinion, a 31 or 32 is pretty darn respectable.