Monday, September 04, 2006

Cheap Trick ‘Dream Police’

I haven’t really been all that great with my updating have I?

My new niece / goddaughter has arrived and she got a little bit of a cold. So for most of last week, I was dealing with the “Terror Twins”, my nephew Preston (5 years old) and my niece Chloe (3 years old). Separately… They’re fine and dandy. But putting them together can be compared to mixing volatile chemicals. There’s going to be an explosion and invariably… A mess.

I love them to death! But when they get started tormenting each other, I just want to throw them into a couple of tiny Iron Maidens until they learn their lesson.

Does anyone know where I can get a good buy on a couple of Iron Maidens?

Chloe couldn’t stay at her house because her mother swore that she had a cold and couldn’t be around her new baby sister, Gracie. Personally, I think Chloe’s problem was allergies because mine were giving me a fit last week too.

And my allergies led to a weird little discovery that you can try on your own…

My throat became sore because of the drip in the back of my throat… You know those yucky details, right?

Anyway… I immediately sought out my favorite cough drops to ease my sore throat, Halls Honey-Lemon.

Later on Thursday, I got myself a six-pack of Yuengling to ease the tension from the days of watching over Preston and Chloe. I took a swig of the Yuengling with the flavor of the cough drop coated all over my mouth. When I swallowed the beer, there was a funny aftertaste that I was familiar with… It was the distinct flavor of Bazooka Bubblegum!

I shared my findings with Dianna and I wasn’t quite sure that she believed me. I would have to prove it when I saw her Friday night for Bo Bice’s show at the N Club.

Friday afternoon, I spent the day doing things that I couldn’t do all week. I purchased some new socks and shoes and while I was driving around Battleground Avenue, my stomach decided that it needed some nourishment. I was craving a little action from East Coast Wings.

I parked Roxy and started walking towards my favorite Wing joint. I noticed Mike, the owner, getting into his SUV and we exchanged the usual pleasantries. I kept walking towards the Heavenly Gates of deep-fried goodness and when I looked up, I became confused and disorientated because I didn’t see the signage. My disbelieving eyes scanned the entire length of the strip mall looking for East Coast Wings. I looked where it once was and noticed the windows covered with paper. A sign was posted on the glass advertising that the storefront was available for lease.

I could literally feel my heart breaking. I called several friends for emotional support as I sat parked in the lot. But like a soldier, I thought about my options and put aside my feelings of the dearly departed. I could always eat at East Coast Wings whenever I’m in Archdale or High Point. Those were the closest locations and victory would still be within my grasp.

The Greensboro ECW was in a bad location, plain and simple. Hopefully, it won’t deter Mike or anyone else from opening another ECW in Greensboro. I can’t help feeling like that whiny kid in the movie Shane…. “Shane!… Come back, Shane!”

So I hit Wendy’s to satisfy my hunger. I got a grilled chicken sandwich with Baked Lay’s potato chips. Yes, I’ve been faithful with my new attitude about fried foods and there’s been a surprising side benefit… I’ve lost a couple of inches around my waist!

This past weekend, I was in mourning. I had deep-fried wings just about every chance I got. I had to bury the hurt, folks. The wings at the Green Burro Friday night before Bo Bice eased my pain along with the ones from Buffalo Wild Wings on Sunday.

Roxy and I hit Battleground Avenue once again after Wendy’s and I spotted a personalized license plate on a mini-van that just blew my mind. The plate somehow got by the DMV and read as “DONTSPIT”.

My first thought was “WHY?”. Why would someone personalize his or her license plate with “DONTSPIT”?

My mind started to race with the possibilities… Did the owner work in the adult film business? Was the owner a sex therapist? Was the owner pro-semen? Or did they have a reputation that caused the general public to spit on them?

It was a nice distraction from the heartbreak of East Coast Wings closing in Greensboro.

A few years ago, I noticed another “stupid” personalized plate while driving home one day… I was following a Lexus SUV and noticed that the plate was personalized with “CULDESAC”. I couldn’t wrap my brain around that one… Obviously, the person was successful enough to afford a Lexus SUV, but seemingly lacked any original thought to come up with something creative for their personalized license plate. And as I went on my way home, they used the same route. They turned off my path and into a neighborhood cul-de-sac, and I’m presuming here… That meant they were home.

I imagined the guy sitting down with his wife going over the options for the personalized plate going on the Lexus SUV… “Honey? Should I go with ‘LIVEONCT’ or ‘CULDESAC’?”

I’m sure it kept him up for days! I just couldn’t believe that the dumbass pays 20 extra bucks a year to tell the world behind him that he lives on a cul-de-sac. Oh well, successful doesn’t always mean smart now does it?

Back to Bo Bice at the N Club…

Thankfully, I didn’t see much of the show. I just don’t care about American Idols. And the thing that surprised me the most was that Mr. Bice only played an hour-long set. That just seemed a little too short for me. He and his band closed with two Skynyrd songs… “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Freebird”. Those were the only performances that I managed (ahem… “had”) to witness. After “Freebird”, he told the crowd “goodnight”, but they stuck around for the encores…

Now I’m a concert veteran with probably more than 1,000 shows under my belt and I understand that encores are pretty much obligatory. But, Mr. Bice didn’t give the crowd any more tunes. Keep in mind that I may be a little fuzzy and Bo could’ve played the Skynyrd tunes as the encores. I want to be fair, but if he didn’t do any encores, that’s just crappy.

Oh, and while at the N Club, Dianna tried my Yuengling and Hall’s experiment. She too reached the same conclusion… Bazooka Bubblegum. I also tried to pass on my findings to a girl named Connie. She and I clinked bottles because we were the only ones drinking Yuengling. I gave Connie a cough drop, but I don’t know if she tried it on her own.

I also managed to finish up season two of Veronica Mars over the weekend. I’m giving it a 4 out of 5 star rating on Netflix. The second season was a little better than the first, but it seems that I’m in the minority with that thought. My friend Christine disagrees with me and she told me that many of VM fans out there felt the season was a little lackluster too.

Regardless, I’m ready for season three to kick off on the new CW Network starting October 6th. I’m also ready for the new season of Nip/Tuck starting up on FX Tuesday night.

I managed to watch the first episode of Vanished and I wasn’t impressed enough to make it a weekly ritual. So far, nothing is really sparking my interest like last year’s crop of new shows. That’s why I picked up a DVD set of season one of Newsradio yesterday at Best Buy. I was looking for season one of Malcolm In The Middle and those bastards didn’t have it. I’ve heard from reliable sources that only season one of Malcolm will be released on DVD, so I had better get one before I can’t anymore.

I’m still waiting for season four of Green Acres! It has been over a year since they released season three and I must have them all!

If they decide to stop putting out Green Acres on DVD… Mixed with the news about Malcolm DVD’s… East Coast Wings closing in Greensboro… And rising fuel costs… I may just decide to say “Goodbye cruel world!” and become a recluse in West Virginia where I can live off discarded tires and road kill.

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