Saturday, May 28, 2005

Dread Zeppelin 'Hot & Spicy Bean Burger'

My cousin, Dan Lively, posted this. He was a part of the events that I wrote about on Friday April 22nd 2005. You can find the original post that he commented on under the heading of “The Cars ‘Heartbeat City’”. I talked about the short-lived band that Dan and I were a part of along with Jonathan Everett, Joe Williams, and Tracy Thornton.

Eugene, let's get KRAKKIN... (I want a button if there are any left) You can't kill rock and roll, it's here to stay... Man, it seems like just yesterday that we won that thing... I just wish that someone had videotaped it... that would be cool to watch... "it's his medication"... (what the heck was I thrashing about for, like a
salmon who somehow did not get the chance to spawn?)To elaborate on the ramp episode... (But, you couldn’t argue with the crowd that was in control. We ended the show with the singer crashing through the ego ramp with both feet) It was right out of a 'Spinal Tap' script... Jonathan & I slid down to center front stage each on our opposite knee, in perfect symmetry; each guitarist a cosmic reflection of the other, whilst the lead singer quickly climbed aboard our skinny thighs for his
projection into the stratosphere (per our collective plan), as we all held out the endless final "A" chord of "Rock 'N' Roll All Nite"; fanning it like a fire that was igniting our family jewels that simply must be extinguished immediately... the obvious exact moment came to finally end the song, as we all knew, by some uncanny sixth sense that musicians have when they jam together for hours and hours on end...
the singer then launched himself skyward from his perch upon our legs and, per the master plan, when his feet hit the stage, we would end the final song with a victorious death blow to the "A" chord, which had been hanging in the oh-so-humid North Carolina air like the prevalent aroma of a barbecue pit, which we did, and upon doing so, we saw in amazement our spandex-clad comrade disappear from the sight of all, as he crashed through the chip-board ramp like an olympic swimmer penetrating the water while executing a masterful high-dive. And then it was like immediately the resurrection of the Christ as he rose again from the dark jagged hole (for a split second I personally wondered if he was indeed dead) in the now pitiful ego-ramp that our shop-class A student friends, who were now cheering quite insanely, had caringly constructed for us; their own rock and roll heroes, who had honored their hard work by sacrificing it appropriately at the altar of ROCK, and winning the victor's spoils in the process. I personally think that the 'ramp episode' was THE deciding factor in our victory that fateful year. –

Posted by Dan to Too Dangerous For Daylight at 5/27/2005 05:03:44 AM

It’s hard to believe that Dan isn’t hopped up on caffeine, huh?

Yesterday afternoon I started receiving calls from friends spread out across the county. They all wanted to know if I knew that Eddie Albert had died.

Albert’s death wasn’t something that shocked me… Just a few months ago, Marcia Gan and I were chatting about him. We googled his name and discovered that Eddie was 99 years old.

I guess you could say that he lived a full life. That is if you think that reaching triple digits constitutes a full life.

Eddie Albert was a singer and actor. He made a few movies but nothing that really stood out. He recorded albums but again, nothing that stands out.

Albert was more or less about television. He was best known for his work on ‘Green Acres’ as Oliver Wendell Douglas.

Who knows, maybe the theme from ‘Green Acres’ will land him a spot in a Hall of Fame somewhere? People know the theme song without ever seeing the show.

I celebrated Eddie’s work on ‘Green Acres’ last night as I do with every passing member of that cast. I watched the DVD’s, drank beer, and laughed my ass off into the wee hours of the morning.

I grew up with ‘Green Acres’. As a matter of fact, that show twisted and shaped my sense of humor.

My parents remember me taking to it when I was a toddler. Whenever the show was on, I would plop down in front of the television and just watch.

Over the years, I would adjust my boyhood schedule around reruns of ‘Green Acres’ so that I wouldn’t miss an episode. I did the same with ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’ and ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’ too, but not with the same gusto.

‘Green Acres’ is my all time favorite show. When CBN ran the show in the mid 80’s, I started taping them for my own personal collection. If the show was tossed off the air, I had VHS tapes to fall back on whenever I needed a fix.

Nick At Night ran them after CBN and I tried my best to get every one of those shows without success. I filled up nine VHS tapes (six hours each) with ‘Green Acres’ and still didn’t get them all.

Dan Lively, my cousin, has love for the show, but I don’t think that his love runs as deep and true as mine.

His favorite character was Mr. Hank Kimball, the county agricultural agent. Dan wanted a tape composed only of scenes with Mr. Kimball. So, I searched out the best scenes that I had with Kimball. I had linked two VCR’s together so that I could tape from my copies onto Dan’s tape. It took me two days to make that joker and he loved it.

It was a labor of love and I’m only sorry that I didn’t make a copy for myself.

I don’t know if Dan has that tape anymore. I made it about fifteen years ago. I’m sure that it has disappeared or self-destructed by now.

I still have all nine of those ‘Green Acres’ tapes and I watched them and celebrated Pat Buttram’s passing with a twelve pack of beer. I used the same tapes when Eva Gabor died. I missed work the next day because I spent all night celebrating until the sun came up.

This time, with Eddie Albert’s passing, I have the complete and unedited shows from seasons one and two on DVD. Since I had to take care of business last night at Somewhere Else, I had to put the celebration on hold for a while.

I got home around 11:40 pm with a six-pack of Yuengling in hand ready to give Eddie Albert a salute. I watched about two and a half hours until the beer was gone.

I couldn’t go all out, I had to make an appearance at my niece’s birthday party today. She’s turning two and she’s learning how to eat cake off of men… She’s having plates with ‘The Wiggles’ printed on them.

Some people dismiss ‘Green Acres’ as a corny show and they couldn’t be more wrong. The show is pure and total genius!

It taught me the rules of comedy… well…. Not the rules… There should not be a set of rules with comedy. ‘Green Acres’ breaks the rules and shows you that you don’t have to follow a formula.

After all, funny is funny.


  1. Anonymous6:20 PM

    Molly Turgiss weeps.

  2. THE "JUST MR. KEMBALL" TAPE LIVES STILL... simply awesome, I roll round on the floor and wa-ta squeezes out me eyes... I will ever be indebited to you for it, I just need to put it on a DVD-R... AND the 'funny tapes' I shall dub onto CDRs when I get the time... but please no mention of the infamous "Buckhead F.T."...

    Yeah, sleep deprivation and caffeine make me "Spastic-Dan!...