Monday, May 30, 2005

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show 7/12/02 (cassette)

I am almost ashamed to admit this…

Wow! How many words starting with the letter “a” can I squeeze into a sentence?

Back to my shame…

I found out on Saturday, the day before the Indianapolis 500, that a rookie driver was one of the favorites to win the Indy race. I also found out that the driver was a woman named Danika Patrick.

I hadn’t heard of her until Doug McKnight and I were chatting at the station about the big race. I was talking about the Coca-Cola 600, but he was talking about the Indy race and the Patrick factor.

I had no idea who he was talking about.

I don’t watch too much news on television. The only ESPN that I see is when I’m channel surfing and I just so happen to be passing by. I don’t read the sports section in the News & Record unless I know there’s NASCAR related articles printed inside.

I was oblivious to Ms. Danika Patrick.

You see… I don’t care about the Indy Racing League.

Now, I might watch a little of the 500 if there’s a NASCAR driver doing double duty in Indianapolis and Charlotte on the same day. But, it’s a passing interest that only gets my attention because of the novelty. Usually, I’ll tune in for the last few laps and see how the chips fall.

Indy style of racing is very boring to me. The cars don’t look like cars at all to me. I can’t identify them as cars because they don’t look like the ones that we drive. They have open wheels and if those cars touch, a nasty wreck can happen. Or, you can get something all out of whack when there’s even the slightest touch from another car.

The Indy cars typically go fast and that’s about all. There’s very little excitement for me. There’s no rubbing, and as you know, rubbin’ is racin’. Indy drivers seem to lack personality and that’s rather important to me as a race fan.

My first look at Ms. Patrick occurred at Triangle Billiards in High Point late Saturday night. I was there with Benjomatic ( and the bar had some sort of ESPN on every television. They did a series of stories about the upcoming Indy race and of course one was about the lady racer.

First point of interest about her is that she’s a woman. The second point of interest is that she’s a young, attractive woman. The third point of interest was about her being a rookie in the IRL.

I found that rather sad because she didn’t get there on her looks. Sure, I feel pretty certain that her attractiveness did open a few doors for her. And, that’s okay with me.

But, no car owner in their right mind is going to put Britney Spears in their machine just because she’s hot. No matter what sex the driver is, there’s a proving ground to find the best.

Danika Patrick IS hot.

She’s also a hell of a driver too!

I came in at the end of the race and my father told me where she finished and how she did it. She led a bunch of laps but some guy clipped her front wing and she had to go in the pits for repairs. Patrick came out 2 laps down and made them up quickly. She fought hard and strong to finish fourth in the Indy 500.

My father said, “She ain’t no joke.”

Tomorrow, I will write about my father’s belief in a conspiracy involving Hendrick Motorsports, Lowes Home Improved stores, and NASCAR.


  1. Anonymous5:40 PM

    I don't mess with Indy racing either and hadn't heard of Ms Patrick until I saw Robbie Gordon complaining that he would not ever race against her because he feels that her size gives her an unfair advantage. I watched a bit of the prerace show and the start of the race, and from what I saw, the woman driver was the hot new gimmick. I was not around for the end, but I see she finished 4th, so I guess she can't be all that bad. (Then again Mayfield was 4th in the 600, and he sucks)
    And speaking of Robbie, I am supposed to mention we saw him at the All-Star Race and got an autographed picture for our favorite blogger.. of course, even after we spelled it out for him, he wrote "Eugean" but the intent was there.
    And your father's beliefs are right on the money.. the fix in always in at Lowe's!

  2. Anonymous6:23 PM

    In addition to being a great driver, DANICA Patrick was also excellent on The Wonder Years.

  3. Jimmie fears Mayo... I look forward adding that Robby Gordon autographed picture to my collection of misspelled items. It will fit in nicely with the Aerosmith 'Pump' album flat where Steven Tyler wrote my name as 'Ugene'.

    Thank you for thinking of me!

  4. DANICA... Sorry, I also need to check on the spelling of R. Gordon's first name too.

    I thought Danica was tv's Punky Brewster.