Monday, March 21, 2005

Aerosmith 'Get A Grip'

The NCAA tournament is in full swing and guess who couldn't care less... Me!

I don't get basketball. I don't see the attraction at all. Could it be my basketball nickname given to me by my classmates in junior high, "Deadeye"?

I got that name because of my poor vision. I could see a backboard but that was just about it. I couldn't dribble worth a crap either. I would never even entertain the idea of passing behind the back. Hell, whenever someone would give me one of those weird passes, it usually landed somewhere on my face. My vision wouldn't allow me to see those "looks" that warned me of a pass headed my way.

Without glasses or contact lenses, my free throw average is about 1.7%.

I never knew I had a vision problem until my schoolwork started to suffer. Glasses came along to ugly up my mug just a little bit more. But, a whole new world opened up to me. I could watch television from across the room. I could read the clock without squinting to get a vague time of day. I realized that I had zits. It was a wonderous event.

And to top it off, I became the Shoot The Hoops school champion! "Deadeye" was going to the county finals.

Unlike all those feelgood movies, my journey to redemption went off a cliff in fiery fashion. Yep, I choked. I didn't even want to go to the county finals. I didn't even like basketball. I gave it a try, but I didn't give it my all. I just wanted to be at home watching Wahoo McDaniels beat the crap out of Blackjack Mulligan. The finals was taking place on a Saturday and that interfered with my pro wrestling habit.

Now that I look back at it, I still don't care. To me, it was enough proving to my classmates that "Deadeye" could make good from the line. I felt good that I beat everyone in school but, I felt doomed when I found out that it was just the beginning.

Perhaps another reason... ACC games always interefered with my television viewing habits. Those games were always coming on and messing up my whole week. Dad could watch a basketball game while having all his limbs amputated at once. At that time, TV's weren't in every room in the house. So, the main bread winner got the tube.

You see, television was and in some ways, still important to me. I love it! My tastes these days are a little more refined (my opinion only). I watch Fox on Sunday nights. 'Malcolm in the Middle' is one of the funniest shows EVER! Now Fox has put the show in a dead zone. It gets started "already in progress" during the football season. Not a good sign.

Mondays... CBS' 'Three And A Half Men' and 'Everybody Loves Raymond' while I'm taping 'Raw' on Spike.

Tuesdays... Nothing. Except when 'The Shield' and 'Nip/Tuck' are in new episodes.

Wednesdays... 'Yes Dear' is back on CBS so, I make a point of watching it. Is it a great show? No, not at all. I watch it for Liza Synder. She plays Christine. She has long dark hair and a bit of a sexy weight problem. She carries it VERY well and I kinda like my ladies a little thick. Plus, the cleavage is nice too. She wears too many long shirts. I'm dying to see how much junk is in her trunk.

How's that for a dark secret for ya?

Thursdays... 'Smackdown'.

Fridays... 'Star Trek: Enterprise'. Insert your own and probably not so creative geek joke here. I think 'Enterprise' is the best of all the series. I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I don't care. Usually, the ones dissing 'Enterprise' are those a**holes who live and breathe by every gas emission from George Lucas (creator / dictator of the 'Star Wars' series).

'Enterprise' is ending in May so, I'm a little sad. I still need to watch all the previous episodes from the 2 seasons that I missed.

Saturdays... 'Cops' is still a classic! You cannot beat watching idiots, ever!

Last Friday night, I did watch the last two minutes of regulation and two OT's in the Wake Forest / West Virginia game. I was pulling for West Virginia. After all, it's the land of my birth and I must remain faithful. (Insert your own and not so creative WV jokes here).

During the overtime periods, I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to get to my Netflix delivery of 'The Sopranos' season 4 disc 1. I had to see the game all the way through to the end. I didn't get that excited, it was just "nice" that West Virginia won.

Now, during the finish of yesterday's Nextel Cup race, I was up on my feet. I was hooting and hollering. I was terrorfying my cats as I cheered on Carl Edwards. Hell of a finish! I'm sure if you check out you can see a clip of the finish.

NASCAR is the sport of choice for me.


  1. Anonymous9:55 PM

    I'm worried about you. So is Molly Turgiss.

  2. Molly?

    What was her folly?