Billy Martin Breakdown

Do you ever have those times where everything breaks down at once?

Well, we’re having a doozy here at The Big House.

I’ve been noticing some issues going on with the outside heat pump unit, but everyone was calming my fears about reverse cooling and phrases like “it’s designed to do that”. But one cool morning while taking the dogs out to sling urine and pinch loaves I noticed that the fan was having some issues. And as it turned out, my fears were there for a real reason. So now we’re just waiting on a service technician to check it out (ironically is now en route as I’m typing this). Sure, the system has some age on her. I suppose that it has been a long time coming. Hopefully, it’ll be a quick fix until we can actually replace the thing once the oldest is out of school.

I did the wrong thing… surprise there, huh?

I didn’t tell my wife about all of my suspicions concerning this situation. And I made the mistake of informing her as I’m about to head off to produce a Carolina Thunderbirds game at WTOB. Nope. It did not sit well with her. She was more upset with me keeping her in the dark than she was with the possibility of the unit crapping the proverbial bed.

And I admit it. I wasn’t protecting her as much as I was protecting myself from a bout of anger about something that we have no control of. You know what I mean?

She’s been under a lot of stress lately with work. She has a cousin that was found unresponsive and sent to the hospital in an ambulance on the evening of the Big Game. Her father had a hip replaced along with the checking in on him. We’ve been dealing with some internal issues that arise from time to time because of someone’s deteriorating mental state. After changing the brake pads on Roxy (my Ford Ranger) with Bait doing most of the work, it has developed a new problem. And it’s the kind of problem that will make your sphincter tighten up and fear for your life. It is now sitting at our mechanic’s shop awaiting assessment and repairs. So yeah, you’d think not only was Mercury in retrograde, but it could’ve been doing cartwheels while appearing to travel backwards. But Mercury doesn’t go into retrograde until March 5th. So, we don’t know what the heck is a going on.

I guess that we’re in the monsoon point of the “when it rains, it pours” adage.

I tend to underestimate my wife and how she’s going to handle things. She didn’t bat an eye about Roxy needing to visit the mechanic. So, my feeble attempt to shield myself from a “Billy Martin Breakdown” concerning the heat pump only got me some grief from my wife that can clearly handle anything.

I’m also hoping that the issue with my truck is a simple, easy fix. My father-in-law with his hip replacement isn’t really a big concern anymore. He’s on the mend. The internal issue will always have to be dealt with. Jamie and I are talking about seeking council in order to deal with those wild swings or irrationality. And the cousin thing doesn’t look like it is going to get all that better either, but we’re still maintaining some optimism.

We're maintaining and crossing our fingers that all will be right in our world very soon again.

Sickness Abounds

Well, it appears that I’m sick again for the second time this fall and winter. And I’m not happy about. But then again, who is? I may get one sickness per year and that’s about it. I’m generally healthy through the fall and winters. But things are different this year.

I’m blaming my part-time gig at WTOB on Trade Street in downtown Winston-Salem. Every time I go in there someone has signs of sickness. Deep sickness. The kinds of sickness that may require a flamethrower in order to cleanse the building of all viruses and bacteria. The place has been the go-to place for sore throats, stuffy heads, nagging coughs, snotty noses, and syphilis.

I’m there on the weekends running the Carolina Thunderbirds hockey game broadcasts. And when I get settled in to my places of activity, I wipe EVERYTHING down to avoid the sickness. But it’s just too powerful. Those guys and girls must bring in Ebola style sicknesses into the building. No matter how much hand-washing I do, I contract something. I wipe down everything that I use. From keyboards to mouses. From the phone to microphones. From microphone cradles to hard surfaces that hands touch. From headphones to stools. From door knobs to light switches. It does not matter. Everyone comes in sick and leaves their super-sickness all over the place. One girl even left her coffee cup from McDonald’s in the broadcast booth. I asked Trev Allen, our intern, if it was his and he told me that it was left by the sicko that posted on social media that she went home immediately for chicken soup and sleep.

Once I gave a disgusted look at the offensive and germ-riddled cup, I immediately disposed of the remaining contents and slathered hand sanitizer all over myself. I even gargled some for good measure. But did it help?

Hell to the no infinity!

I work with some sick individuals, ladies and gentlemen. SICK! I urge you to stay away from the WTOB studios. Unless you’re equipped with a flamethrower, I wouldn’t even go near Trade Street in downtown Winston-Salem. And if you live near in and around downtown, you may want to think about boarding up the outsides of your windows and lining them on inside with plastic sealers. HAZMAT needs to be sent in. Do not make contact or even eye contact with Bob in the P.M., Rick O’Neill, Mark Richards, Candance Ray, or Don Mark. They’re sick! And their sickness spreads. Spreads like a wildfire! Oh sure, they seem friendly enough. But their sickness will take you over no matter how much Vitamin C that you’ve had. Not even hand sanitizers or cleaning wipes can destroy their winter funk.

If their sicknesses all got together to form a monster, it would crush Winston-Salem like Godzilla taking a stroll in Tokyo.

I’ve never worked at a radio station with so much repetitive sickness. And I don’t even make that much money. What I do make goes to fighting the funks that everyone gives me!

Just enjoy the broadcasts from home, work, and in your cars! Don’t go anywhere near the radio station unless you have won a prize that needs to be picked up in a timely fashion. And if you do, you’d better be wearing a HAZMAT suit. Just make that the suit is properly sealed and you have a shower waiting nearby.