Motorized Morons

The motorized scooters are back in downtown Winston-Salem. I think they’re great! People have the option of moving quickly through town.

BUT! Some people are oblivious, selfish, and downright stupid. They don’t realize how dangerous and ILLEGAL it is to ride those scooters on sidewalks. I’ve even seen some of those idiots riding against traffic on the roads. I’ve even seen one moron driving down the center line on a busy Trade St early one evening.

And it’s those morons that ruin it for everyone.

I was driving down Seventh St the other day going to Trade St. As I’m sitting in my truck at the light at Seventh and Trade, I witness three morons riding scooters on the sidewalk. They crossed Seventh in the crosswalk and continued north on Trade.

I parked my truck between the old Miller’s and the Silver Moon Saloon. I’m walking up the lot and here zips the lead moron on his scooter. I shout, “GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!” We locked eyes. And I was showing my displeasure as seriously as I could. The lead moron zipped right by a guy that was visibly surprised and I shouted, “RIDING ON THE SIDEWALKS IS AGAINST THE LAW!”

He shouted back without looking at me, “I DON’T CARE!”

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A SELFISH DUMBASS!”

And then I heard two other folks yelling “GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!” People were joining to fight these morons with me. That’s exactly what everyone should do when they encounter one of these lawless idiots riding on the sidewalks.

I tweeted the Winston-Salem PD and after two days, they have yet to respond. I tweeted this morning that they probably don’t care until someone gets hurt.

The first time the scooters were in town, I witnessed some motorized moron riding down the sidewalk in front of Finnigan’s Wake. A lady came out of the main entrance turned around to say something or react to what was being said behind her and BOOM! The motorized moron plowed right into her. As they both tumbled to the ground the unsuspecting victim hit her head on a table. The moron seemed incredibly apologetic and things were exchanged as a waitress brought a clean towel to the woman. She was bleeding. Some guy helped her up and they disappeared presumably to go get some stitches.

We should all shout and shame these motorized morons when we see them on the sidewalks. I don’t care about the dumbasses riding against traffic. They’re the ones that could get hurt so that works out. Sure, their heads might dent cars or break some headlights, but they deserve to be injured with such dumbassery. Hell, I’m even tempted to drop marbles onto the sidewalk “by accident” if there’s an opportunity that no one else would get hurt.

“GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!”

Join the fight.