Mr. Personality

I needed to get some duplicate keys made because my stepson is down to one remaining key for his Pontiac Vibe. So, while he’s away in Canada, I thought I’d get at least three copies made. One to take with him as a spare and a couple for backups because losing keys seems to be in his genetic makeup. We still haven’t found any keys for the ’96 Mustang that we have in a garage in King, NC.

I thought I’d get a handle on this situation before it gets away from us all.

Since I had to pick up various things at the local Walmart, I’d get those dupes made while I’m shopping. At least, that was my plan.

I arrived at the automotive counter and no one was there. There was a custodian nearby that told me that someone would be with me shortly. No worries. “I’m (Keith Carradine)Easy”. Then this dude stepped inside the store from the automotive bay and shouted at the custodian “Hey man! Does anybody MF’ing work in this GD place?!” Before the custodian guy could answer he followed up with, “This is some GD BS! I needs me a MF’ing oil change. I ain’t got time for this MF’ing BS! You need to get me a Walmart MF’er here NOW to change my MF’ing oil!” Then he went back into the automotive bay.

The automotive attendant came back to the counter and Mr. Personality was hot on his heels, “I needs my MF’ing oil changed. I ain’t got all day for you people to be wasting my GD time!”

Sure, he jumped right ahead of me. But that was okay with me. His winning personality won me over. The attendant took Mr. Personality’s keys and handed them off to another automotive employee. And Mr. Personality said, “Don’t be dripping no GD oil on my engine. I don’t wanna smell no F’ing S burning. You got it?”

Mr. Personality followed the worker out and that was the last that I saw of him. I asked the guy at the counter if that’s the way they’re treated by customers and he said that it’s rare, but it happens.

Now why would it make good sense to act that way? Is it some kind of power trip?

I wouldn’t be surprised if some Great Value sugar found its way into Mr. Personality’s fuel system. And there has to be other ways for someone with mechanical knowledge to really F his car up without being traced back to them.

I mean, if you treat people like scum wouldn’t you be afraid that the someone you yelled at would find a way to retaliate?

Mr. Personality wouldn’t even be aware of it.

The key duplication machine was out of service. I still haven’t gotten the copies made. And there’s the matter of having the vehicle inspected and tags renewed while my stepson traipses through Canada with only a 5-gallon bucket to carry his supplies.

Why he thinks that’s fun is beyond me.