Sunday, December 02, 2018

My NASCAR Ritual

I completed a sad ritual the day after the NASCAR Monster Energy Cup Series wrapped up the 2018 season. It’s a ritual that hasn’t been performed since Juan Pablo Montoya’s last full Cup season. It’s a ritual that I perform alone and it only takes a few minutes. The ritual tools only consist of my hands and a razor blade of some type. It has been performed for Dick Trickle, Jimmy Spencer, Robby Gordon, Montoya, and now AJ Allmendinger. It’s the removal of their sticker(s) and in some cases, license plates.


Allmendinger got his walking papers from JTG Daughtry Racing a month or so ago. He isn’t expected to race full time in either Cup or the Xfinity Series for next year. So that means that I have to choose a new driver to throw my unwavering support. I have several candidates, but I am torn.

Ryan Blaney is an interesting young man. He has a very dry sense of humor and he’s rocking a “pornstache” these days. And he has sported a wonderful and sweet mullet hairstyle. So yeah, that speaks volume. I don’t pull for drivers that just win and win and win. I want a driver with a lot character and a sense of humor. And it seems that this cat has just those qualities. It doesn’t hurt that he’s only been in Cup racing for a short period of time.

Clint Bowyer has always been on my short list of drivers that I like. I actually got to take a hot lap around Martinsville Speedway with Bowyer behind the wheel. I was strapped in the backseat with Spencer Turkin riding shotgun. We were in the Toyota pace car and Bowyer had those tires squealing as we rounded those tight turns. It was fun. And in the video, you can hear me say that it was more fun than my rollover. And the former dirt track driver can be competitive on just about every track. From the super speedways like Daytona to the road courses. He’s a wheelman for sure.

Erik Jones is another hair fashion fearless kind of drivers who has sported a mullet. But he does seem a little too quiet for me. He’s in the running for my support. Again, he’s another one of the newer Cup drivers.

I’ve often been asked why I don’t pull for someone that wins. I personally don’t understand those types of fans. I suppose that winning is all that matters to some people. I’ve just always sided with the underdogs. The win that Allmendinger scored at Watkins Glen was so sweet! I was losing my mind for those last few laps. I was close to seeing Montoya win at Richmond one Saturday night. Jamie had celebratory shots lined up for us and a late caution flag flew. Montoya’s first oval win went straight out the window after commanding most of the race.

So, there you have it. My three candidates for my support as a fan. I will make the reveal before the Advance Auto Parts Clash at Daytona in February. I should have a party like those that reveal the gender of their offspring that’s on the way. I don’t get it, but whatever. Just tell us. I don’t need or care for the suspense of popping open some gift box with a balloon popping out of it with confetti.

The time is coming when I will proudly display the new number on Roxy’s (my truck) back glass. I really need to get some kind of license plate holder for the front bumper. I miss having both ends of the truck covered.

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