Thursday, August 14, 2008

Alex Masi 'Vertical Invader'

I was watching the reception desk today when Josie walked by bitchin’ about something… I stopped her and asked who she was complaining about. She laid it out there, baby. She talked trash about someone named Phelps and how that person’s parents should’ve spent money on fixing his grill instead of tossing dough at swimming lessons.

I sat and listened. I’m sure that I had a stone faced expression on my face, because I had no idea who she was talking about. I do know that she was pretty passionate about it.

From what I gathered, there’s a guy named Phelps who has been racking up medals over in China. He’s breaking records over there in the Olympic Games… Something that I couldn’t care less about.

I don’t watch them. I don’t read about them in the paper. And when the Games are mentioned on the news, my mind wanders. My ears go deaf. I just couldn’t give two toenails about the Olympic Games.

When I listen to 2GNC and they start talking about anything Olympic wise… I start thinking about other stuff. I do the same when they start chatting about college sports. Basketball, especially.

I’ve always been this way. I can easily shut my mind off to things that don’t interest me. So you can imagine how I was during my years in the public education system.

I believed that Bruce Jenner was only a terrible actor until I found out that he won a medal or two in the 1976 Olympics.

I do remember Mary Lou Retton or as I called her… Mary Lou Rectum. She was from the land of my birth, West Virginia. As I recall, she was from a place close to the area where most of my family resided. My family loved and adored her. They talked about her long after the Games were over. And I must admit… She did have very adorable glutes.

The Olympic Games always interrupted my television viewing habits. The Games don’t really do that now. We’re in the wonderful age of DVD’s with hundreds of choices on cable or satellite. Thank God!

I was actually called “un-American” today because of my indifference with the Olympics. Why would not caring about the Olympics be considered un-American?

--On a similar note… Why has Russia invaded Georgia?

I just found out about all that business yesterday. I don’t know why they invaded and quite frankly, I don’t care… That is until it affects the Vodka supply or the source of bicycling bears. A world without Vodka or circus bears is the kind of world I don’t want to live in.

--Here’s a funny and entertaining video that Sabrina (coworker) sent me. It seems like a performance from Woodstock, but keep watching.


  1. Ok, ok, I think I've dried the tears from my hazels long enough to type this. Leather for my Fred is hilarious!
    Usually, I am against the Olympics. And I guess generally I am, just for some reason I find myself drawn to them this time. Phelps has a chance to break Mark Spitz's record of most golds by one person in one sport discipline. Everytime I hear the name Mark Spitz I think of you Eug and the story of calling that seafood restaurant that used to be on Elm St. *sigh* ok, now to go watch that video again. Kleenex in hand this time!

  2. Anonymous7:34 AM


    We aren't watching the Olympics in our home either. Big Brother is on three nights a week! WhooHoo!


  3. I forgot about that, Scorp.

    There used to be a fresh seafood market on the corner of S. Elm and Lee and they had a certain motto... "If it swims, we have it!"

    When I was in Jr. High, I went through a prank call phase that most boys go through. I called up this joint and asked them if they carried any Mark Spitz. It left them confused.

  4. You might also like this video.

  5. Anonymous9:43 AM

    Behold, my triumphant return to posting on said blog.

    Michael Phelps, like Mark Spitz before him, is a freak of nature when it comes to swimming. He's pretty much built to be a swimmer. I would like to see him actually compete instead of reading about it, but working 3rd shift gets in the way. I did see him qualify one night I was off, it was roughly 4 in the morning.

    There was a topic on the regular morning radio station I listen to (and no, it's not a Greensboro- based one, either) about who the greatest Olympian of all time is. Phelps is THE GREATEST SWIMMER of all time Olympics-wise. I'm pretty sure he couldn't dominate track and field like he does the pool.

    And besides, it's cool to see some one individual just straght up dominate at the Olympics, regardless of country or sport.You just have to say to yourself "Man, can anybody beat this cat?"

    As far as married life goes, it alright. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. 2 months down, many more to go.


    P.S. Please note to Demm and Dimmer (Kelly) the wonderful nickname I have given them. I truly beleive it fits.

    Wow, I said a lot.

  6. Anonymous11:43 AM


  7. Anonymous3:23 AM

    I have not been here in ages! I have been reading, but not posting. I fail as a Reliable Commenter. Yet, I felt compelled to come in and leave my "me too!" on this whole Olympics thing. It seems everyone is all on the "Oh! It's Olympic time!" bandwagon, and this has got to stop! Really now, why must we all stop and get all excited about sports that we never, ever care about, just because 'Oh! It's The Olympics!" As I asked one of the earlier commenters (or perhaps his sister, I can't be sure) just last night, "Did you care about swimming last week?! Will you care about it next month? No?! Then shut your trap about it already." This is worse than when everyone jumped on the Carolina Panthers bandwagon just because they were in the Super Bowl. Disgusting! Do you know who the only Olympian I care about is? That's right, Coach K! And you know what I care about him doing? Coaching the Blue Devils. Why? Because that is a team (and a sport I care about.) In short, down with the Olympics!

    Now, onto more important matters: Kyle Busch? Great driver or Greatest driver? Are you still hating? At this point, is his domination entertaining or angering you? Or do you even care anymore? I am still on board, but Ma has turned on him. She liked him before, but now she looks at him the way I look at Jimmie. With a look that says "Enough already. I hate you."

  8. Anonymous9:03 AM

    Kyle Busch supporters unite!! He is by far the greatest thing to happen to NASCAR in quite some time. I also found it hilarious that the first guy to publicly dis the Car of Tomorrow actually drives it better than everone else. I do have a fear, though. My fear is he will be so great now, that when the Chase starts, he forgets to be great, and Jimmie will win. That would suck balls!!

    The fish place moved to E. Florida St., just past S. Elm-Eugene. I always wondered why those two streets had to share a road.

  9. Anonymous9:41 AM


    That was a Eugene classic "moment in time" funny story! I can see him doing that, getting a good laugh for you and confusing others at the same time!

  10. Anonymous11:18 PM


    the cocker vid killed me...
    and sarah, who thinks you are funny. i reckon she is right, but she has learned too much about me from these blogs... (banana hook)...