Sunday, June 15, 2008

Mother Love Bone 'Apple'

Another busy week bites the dust. And since I have the weekend off, that means my bloodstream will be polluted with the Kentucky goodness from the Beam family.

I passed the written exam and received my motorcycle learner’s permit last Tuesday. The DMV office was FILLED with folks which was a little unusual for that particular branch.

Normally, I would have gotten out of there faster than James Brady at a turkey shoot. But I figured that waiting around would calm my nerves a little, so I had a seat.

Two things…

I’m not saying that I’m the prettiest joker on the planet, but that place was loaded up with some unattractive folks. It kind of made me feel prettier. I felt like the King of the Butter Ball. If a very attractive man or woman walked into that place, we would've formed a circle around them and start to worship them like gods. I’m just saying that if you ever experience any types of body/looks issues, just make a quick stop at the DMV to gain a little perspective. You’ll leave feeling like David or Victoria Beckham.

One guy walked in and it was all I could do to keep from busting out laughing. He was a black man at least in his early 60’s wearing hip hop style clothing. His hat was crooked and the bill flat. A “dookey rope” type of necklace with an Ankh attached adorned his chest. His pants were trying not to fall to his ankles, clinging desperately to the bottom of his ass. He looked like an old man parodying his grandkids. It was hilarious!

--After the Murphy in the Morning broadcast from Wet n’ Wild Emerald Pointe last Friday morning, I dropped by a client’s business to check out the scooters they had in their inventory.

They didn’t have any that I was interested in and they wouldn’t have them back in stock until March.


Now I’m thinking about going ahead and getting a full-blown motorcycle. But I’m going to check out some Suzuki and Yamaha scooters before I make a decision. It all comes down to money. I can save about 2 grand by getting an introductory type of motorcycle.

But I’m a little concerned about the differences in the area of maintenance. I understand that scooters are a little easier to take care of than their bigger counterparts. Chances aren’t good, but I could actually learn something mechanical if I were to get a motorcycle.

I may splurge a little and take a motorcycle rider’s course. All that crazy gear changing with my left foot, clutching with my left hand, braking and throttling with the right, and dogging traffic seems too overwhelming for my slightly uncoordinated ass. Dammit! I’m not Neil Peart!

Oh well… I’ll keep you posted. But if you feel like it, throw your two cents in and leave a comment. I may be swayed by public opinion.


  1. Anonymous8:09 AM

    My vote is for the scooter. Somebody needs to make em' cool. It's all up to you E.

  2. Uh... They are cool! Saving resources is always cool.

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  3. Anonymous10:55 AM


  4. I think scooters are cooler. I mastered the whole clutch thing on a mini bike when I was in about 3rd grade.