Lonnie Mack 'LIVE! - Attack Of The Killer V'

I had an exaggerated brush with death today.

I went down to “the lab” so I could place my KISS ‘Alive 1975 - 2000’ back into the CD collection. Because of the plastic shield that protects the package from wear and tear, I couldn’t get that mofo back into its slot. I tried every trick that wouldn’t cause an avalanche of compact discs to fall or loud cursing from me.

I struggled and even took a step for leverage. All to no avail.

So I just left its ass hanging in the wind with a good portion safe and snug.

I didn’t realize I had caught a cord until after I had taken a step. With one cheetah like move, I had pulled the paper shredder from the top of the plastic pail. The crazy thing hit me in the leg.

If that paper shredder had been running… I could have lost my leg or my life.

--My father is a very handy man. And somehow… The “handy” gene wasn’t passed onto me. I cannot do anything remotely handy like… Fixing a wooden drawer. He can.

I know for a fact that he has collected at least a million screws because handy men recycle everything.

“Dad?” I asked as I extended my hand to show him what I needed. “Where can I get a screw like this?”

He quickly looked at my palm just before saying, “Hanoi.”