Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Medeski, Martin, & Wood 'Combustication'

My day wasn’t any different than most Wednesdays… We had our promotions meeting complete with veggies and fruit (yay!) , but it started with a question… Jamey Kerr asked, “Eugene… How handy are you?”

Since I work for this man, I didn’t laugh out loud like Jo Anne Worley from Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. I didn’t want to tell the boss man that I “can’t” do anything particularly handy and “manly”. After all, I’m the kind of guy that has ran from an area when cars batteries were being jumped off because I was always afraid of them exploding.

“That depends,” I told Jamey.

He wanted me to switch a couple of doors for salesperson Jo Sanderlin. She needed a door with a window.

“Well… I’ve taken doors off hinges,” I said. After all, how much harder can it be to put one back on. “But I’ve never put one on. I’ll do it later when there aren’t so many folks here. I don’t want to disturb them with all the noise and my loud cursing.”

When I was discovered making the switch by a couple of ladies on the sales floor, I explained that all the doors were being replaced by “hippie beads”. I immediately got the idea that they were not amused, although it is a dream of mine to have them for the Promotions Office that I share with Weather Dave.

I had no idea that our doors weighed as much as a Ford Focus. It was a bitch to wrestle those jokers by myself, so Weather Dave was kind enough to help me hoist them back onto the hinges after the switch. I even broke a sweat!

Of course, whenever I do any kind of “handy” thing… My blood is spilled. Today’s exercise was no different. I took a couple of chunks of skin out of two knuckles on my right hand. That’s the price of being a man, baby!

Taking one of the doors off was a problem… Two of the pins didn’t want to come out of the hinges. They were stuck in there like an 800 pound man in a 4’ x 6’ room. I had to beat on those things like Rev. Ike Turner to get them out.

Everything worked out and I had a weird sense of manly accomplishment. I may have even gotten an extra shot of testosterone from my testes. I felt like going out to kill and clean a cow for my next steak!

Who knows? I may even start high-fiving and belching out loud in public! I feel that manly.


  1. Anonymous8:18 AM

    I am thinking you may have secured your "man card" for yet another year! Way to go!

  2. Anonymous11:10 AM

    just don't leave someone hanging when they go to slap you a quick high five....