Seven Nations 'and now it comes to this'

It took me two days to finally watch it, but the film Freeway starring Kiefer Sutherland and Reese Witherspoon is one hell of a fun ride.

Who knew that a film about a troubled teenage girl and a pedophile/serial killer could be so funny?

Personally… I found the film to be quite terrible and in many places totally implausible. The dialogue is well worth renting for, but if you’re looking for a “serious” film… Pick out something else. Freeway could easily be fodder for the MST3K guys because it’s that bad.

The film starts off with Vanessa (Witherspoon) learning to read about a cat drinking milk. She celebrates her newly acquired ability by giving her boyfriend a tonsillectomy right there in class. That, of course, translates to “no class”.

Vanessa goes home to find her mother turning tricks right outside of their motel/apartment home. She then finds herself at the mercy of her step dad’s advances. The police come and arrest them both while Vanessa is left for Social Services. Vanessa gets away by cuffing the SS lady to a bed and she takes off in the family car. She gets a gun from her soon to be dead fiancé. The vehicle only gets her as far as the I-5 before it breaks down for good. And that’s when Bob Wolverton shows up.

He gives offers a lift and gets her talking along the way… Then all hell breaks loose. A light bulb goes off in Vanessa’s dark skull when she figures out that she’s riding the road with the I-5 Killer. Great fun and dialogue ensues!

She shoots the hell out of Wolverton and leaves him for dead. She’s eventually arrested for the shooting and no one believes that Wolverton is the I-5 killer. Vanessa ends up doing some time and making an escape…

I won’t give away the ending, but let me tell ya… Freeway is laugh out loud funny! I’m giving that joker 5 full stars on Netflix. It’s one of those films that is so bad that it’s good!

Next up on my entertainment center… The reworking of a Hitchcock classic… Disturbia.

I just have a feeling that the filmmakers are going to screw it up. I’m going into it with great trepidation. We shall see.

--And as for the “Kelly Guarantee” about the Redskins beating the Seahawks… Kelly Guarantee my big ol’ ass.