Metallica 'Kill 'Em All'

Okay… On Saturday, I wrote about hanging with my buddy Sean Whitley this past Friday night. I wrote about hitting the buffet at the Golden Koi on Battleground here in Greensboro, but I forgot to tell you about the weird thing about that meal…

First of all, I had the weekend off and it was a 4 day holiday weekend to boot. I didn’t have to work on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. It was the first time that I have ever had 4 days off in a row since I started working at Dick Broadcasting Company 5 years ago. And I was looking forward to it! I wanted to do absolutely nothing! I wanted to “recharge my batteries”, so to speak. I wanted to roll around in one of the Seven Deadly Sins like a dog wiggles around on its back in garbage. I looked forward to being slothful and getting absolutely nothing accomplished.

After the meal, I did what I always did when choosing my fortune cookie. I passed my hand over them and felt for something telling me which cookie to choose. I sensed something in the cookie on the left and I picked it up. I opened the plastic, cracked open the cookie, and pulled out the fortune. It read as follows…



A little more than ironic, don’t you think?

--Saturday night, I ended up at a “biker” bar in Clemmons, North Carolina. I paid my $5 cover charge and had someone sign me in as a guest. I then walked over to the bar for a shot of Jim Beam and a bottle of PBR. Before I could make my order with the bartender, the lady that took my money and marked the back of my hand with a green permanent marker (the “X” is still there now) tracked me down. She said, “Honey… I’m going to need to see your I.D.”

I couldn’t believe it and neither could my friends. I said, “Sure!”

I whipped out my Driver’s License and said, “If you’re able to drink on the job, I would like to buy you a drink for asking.”

She lit up my license with her flashlight and said, “God! You’re old.”

One minute she’s building me up and the very next, she’s tearing me down. What’s up with that?

I found a place in the back of the room and settled in at the bar. I asked the barkeep for a Pabst Blue Ribbon (I felt it necessary in order to fit in with the crowd gathered and it’s really not a bad beer if its in a bottle) and a shot of Jim Beam. Surprisingly, they didn’t carry PBR so I went with a Yuengling.

There was some guy backing the bar that looked familiar to me. It couldn’t be the guy that I knew because I was in Clemmons and he lives in Mocksville. At least in my mind, it seemed that no one would drive from one town to a different one in a different county just to back a bar part-time.

I told my friends that the bar-backer looked like Mike Williams. Mike “Bubba” Williams was a HUGE dude the last time I saw him and this guy wasn’t huge. She said, “Yell out his name when he comes around.”

That sounded like a good plan and when the dude came around my end of the bar, I yelled out “Mike!”

He looked up and around. He found me and he gave me the “What the hell are you doing here?”look.

We were both very surprised to see each other in such a random place. And Mike (former Two Guys Named Chris “Bubblympics” Champion) had lost over 100 pounds. He was so surprised that he confused me with Goatboy from Two Guys Named Chris.

The story of my life at Rock 92 events… I’m always getting the “Are you Goatboy?” questions.

Drop by Mike Williams’ MySpace page and say “howdy”.

Evoka are my number one friend of the week on my MySpace page. Check them out because they are one helluva band!

And don’t forget to check out my MySpace page .