Fuel 'Something Like Human'

Once again I got to experience something called “Dog-O-Ween”. It is an event that happens every year about or on Halloween with 1075KZL’s Murphy In The Morning show. I have personally worked at 3 of them and I was a judge for the first one that I ever attended.

And personally… I don’t get it.

Folks compete for $1,000 bucks by dressing up their poor innocent animals for Halloween. I mean seriously… Isn’t it bad enough to dress your pet up in one of those novelty dog sweaters with your favorite sports team logo on it?

These folks go all out for “Dog-O-Ween”. There are many, MANY creative costumes. But why? What is all that animal dress up saying about those pet owners?

From what I’ve observed over the years… The animals generally don’t like dressing up. The small dogs don’t seem to mind, but they can generally bend to someone’s will quite easily. The large dogs really dislike the costumes. The cats are absolutely terrified.

Since the broadcast and judging happens on a stage, the dogs that are about the size of a VW Microbus have problems getting up there. The costumes cause them to misjudge steps or even get tripped up by their outfit. You can see the mortal fear in their eyes as their owners pull, prod, and push them onto the stage. Meanwhile, everyone is laughing or saying things like “How cute!”.

To me… It’s not cute. The only thing I enjoy about the whole event is the possibility of a full on, nasty ass dog fight. Because every year, there are little scuffles with barks and snaps… And this year, I thought we were going to have a full blown out brawl.

One of the vendors brought out her “Marmaduke” (I didn’t catch the breed and I didn’t care… It was just a dog roughly the size of a McDonald’s play area) to hang with her. Since she was a vendor and trying to appeal to the pet owners corralled there, she stayed near her setup.

I spotted an oil tanker sized dog and its owner making her way over to that vendor. I couldn’t help but notice the dog and owner plowing through the crowd… It was like an ice breaker cutting across the ice covered ocean. Other dogs and owners opened up a path for this “Mammoth” dog. The “Marmaduke” was definitely on “Mammoth’s” radar and well within visual range.

I could see the dogs giving each other the “hard” once over. After a few seconds of chatter between the vendor and clueless owner, the dogs started growling, snarling, barking, and snapping at each other. Ms. Clueless pulled back on her “Mammoth” about as effectively as pulling a loaded 747 a couple of inches. “Marmaduke” made an slow effort to rip out “Mammoth’s” throat. Ms. Clueless was still carrying on a conversation with the vendor who was struggling to move her own Boeing back from a Michael Vick betting pool that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

I leaned up to Josie’s ear to ask, “Are you watching this?”

She was very uneasy about what was happening right in front of our eyes. Everyone around the “Mammoth” was getting the hint that something was about to go down and started to scatter like Deadheads when someone breaks out a Motorhead tape.

Luckily, Ms. Clueless picked up a brochure and took her “Mammoth” to another part of the parking lot.

I don’t get it. I don’t understand the appeal. To me, it’s just a job to make the best of for four hours.

Feel free to check out the pictures at the 1075KZL website. Just click on the Murphy In The Morning banner and look for the link to the “Dog-O-Ween” pics on the right hand side.