Monday, June 18, 2007

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show (date unknown)

Please let me explain… I can be one of the worst media snobs that you will ever meet. I have a bad habit of judging something unfit for others if I personally do not like it. Yes… I know that’s a character flaw and I’ve tried to correct it over the years… Keyword… Years.

I first discovered Poison when I dropped by Tracy Thornton’s house one summer day back in 1986. He purchased the LP and was committing it to tape when I arrived.

“What in the hell is this?” I asked. I could not understand why Tracy would even consider purchasing such an LP. Just from the cover alone, I judged them to be no talent hacks.

“Dude… These guys are awesome,” he said.

A friend (who will remain nameless) also dropped by… He picked up the album’s cover and said something to the effect of… “Man! These chicks are HOT! I’d sure do them in a heartbeat.”

Upon first visual contact, Bobby Dall come out on top of his wish list.

I lent Poison my ear long enough to solidify my earlier judgment. The album’s production was tinny. The music way too simple. The lyrics even more simple. And I found Brett Michaels voice annoying and without any power or conviction. To say the least… I didn’t care for Poison. I found their name quite an accurate description for their music.

Over time, my opinion never changed. I’ve had many discussions concerning Poison’s lack of originality and blandness. Usually I get… “You like KISS, BUT you don’t like Poison?”

To me… Those bands are miles apart.

I had seen Poison open for Billy Idol. I had seen Poison headline their own gigs. And during the ‘Hollyweird” tour stop at the Greensboro Coliseum a few years ago… I walked out after three songs into Poison’s set. This of course was after seeing the much better Cinderella and a poorly reconstituted Faster Pussycat. Danny Fonorow and the rest of Stickboy couldn’t believe that I was leaving.

My first concert review assignment for the Greensboro News & Record was a Poison show. They were with Vince Neil of Motley Crue and Skid Row.

Danny begged me not to give them a bad review and I maintained that I would keep an open mind.

Well… As it turned out… I gave Poison a GLOWING review. I don’t know what happened, but I actually enjoyed myself at their show. They were, in my opinion, very good that night.

Vince Neil and Skid Row received my wrath instead. I wrote that Neil’s performance “was as exciting as watching Jell-O sweat in the hot sun”.

And a few years ago, Poison opened for KISS where once again they just didn’t thrill me. They bored me to tears.

I was a little surprised when I heard that Poison and Ratt were teaming up for a summer shed-show tour. If Poison couldn’t sell out half of the Greensboro Coliseum… What makes them think they can rake in the bucks at Charlotte’s Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre?

Personally, I wouldn’t give two Ratt turds to see Poison. But they were part of the package and Kristina really wanted to see Brett Michaels and the rest of those cats.

Right off the bat, Kristina wanted to break a long standing rule of mine. A rule that I’ve had in place when I first started attending concerts regularly. A rule that no one else except Brad K. (frequently leaves comments) seems to adhere to as well… You don’t listen to the band or artist that you’re going to see on the day of their show. You just don’t do it.

She turned her small library of cassette tapes upside down and couldn’t find a copy of Poison’s work. So… We dropped by the Best Buy where she picked up a greatest hits collection.

Not ONLY did she take control over MY stereo… The just purchased CD wasn’t to her liking. So we stopped at the Wal-Mart in Thomasville to search out a copy of ‘Open Up And Say Ahhhhh….’. They didn’t have that one in stock. She settled for a copy of their live album because it had the song she wanted… “Love On The Rocks”.

I had to listen to Poison all the way to Charlotte where we were meeting her mom for the concert. And I forgot to pick up some razor blades for the rest of the ride.

Since this is getting a little long… I will conclude tomorrow.


  1. Back in the summer of 1986 my secret desire was to be in one of those hair band videos.

  2. Well Joan... If you've got the lingerie, I've got the video camera!


  3. Anonymous8:38 AM

    Back in the summer of 1986, my not so secret desire was that Poison would one day fade into obscurity managing to only attract an estimated 4000 person crowd instead of headlining, filling the coliseums they played...

    Hey!... :D