Monday, May 07, 2007


Drop by and say hello to my MySpace Number One Friend for the Week… Ashlyn!

Believe it or not… I’ve actually gotten a few emails from folks NOT wanting to be my number one friend for a week. For instance…

If/When my time arrives to No. 1, feel free to pass me over and give it to charity instead. Consider it my Bob Geldof moment.

I don’t want to be on the top spot. Just don’t think I can handle the extreme pressure of it.

Yes… There is great pressure. That is why Brad and Jamie shall remain nameless... But there are great rewards!

For your week in the number one spot as my friend… You are an ambassador of Eugene. You are required to spread the Eugene far and wide. Eugene is like the icky substance your hand finds under the table. Now you must wipe it off and onto every surface you can find.

You may have to perform as my proxy for various ribbon cutting events… Such as the Porta-John arrivals to various construction sites all over this great land.

You may have to help the needy when they require a good back-shaving in order to enjoy many of municipal pools in the Triad area.

You will have to kiss babies. Even the ugly ones.

The cost too high being Number One as my MySpace friend?

Not when you see the numerous smiles on the faces of relieved construction workers and the freshly shorn backs of fat men glistening in sun.

The babies?… Not so much.

Pride… Is what you will find being Number One along with a renewed a sense of self-worth.

If you think you‘ve got what it takes… Then become one of my friends at my MySpace page.

As for my weekend away… I got all relaxed and energized. I actually sat on the back porch of the cabin and listened to the nearby stream as it took water from one place to another. Leaving me to ponder where it came from and where it’s going next.

At the risk of getting all philosophical… The stream reminded me of my own life with its many twists and turns. While listening to the stream in the dark, I found myself in a place where the water stopped and collected for a moment before leaving. The stream kept on babbling by as I took a moment aside to rest and consider where I‘m headed next.

Then I went inside for another Jim Beam Black and Coke.

I also visited a winery that was close by. The vineyard was beautiful. The vino very good. The wine makers actually cared about their product. Instead of using machines or feet to squeeze the juices from the grapes… They used infants like rolling pins to coax those juices out. Maybe I’m crazy, but I could taste the difference.


  1. Anonymous5:24 PM

    I'm commenting even before I read the blog.

    I'm totally marking out for your album cover this time around.

    It takes me back circa 1990-1992, when hip hop was actually great. Not good, but great. I was but a young lad, but I knew enough to know good music when I heard it.

    Kudos to you, good sir. Kudos!

  2. Anonymous5:34 PM

    Ok, blag is read. Here we go.

    Sir, I don't think I have what it takes to hold down the #1 spot on your MySpace page and here's why:

    I HATE the internet-social network known as MySpace. I find it to be too much work to make friends and keep in touch with them. All the friends I would want to talk to are either a click or call away. If that doesn't work, perhaps I even know their place of residence.

    Whatever happened to the idea of going outside and making friends?

    And I've also heard stories from some of the older women I work about what they find on their kid's MySpace page. It makes me shake my head in shame, then I want to punch both the parent and child in the head for being that stupid.

    Man, I'm angry. let me calm down and think of clam flowing streams, and perhaps, Happy Little trees.

  3. Charles,

    I still don't care for much of today's musical choice... M.C. Brains. I got the CD for only one reason... "Oochie Coochie La La La".

    I don't know why, but I dig that song.

  4. Anonymous8:03 PM

    Wine made from infant-rolled grapes is some of the best wine an earthling can taste. In a perfect world, all wine would be made by using infants like rolling pins to coax out the grape's sweet nectar--I mean,juice.

  5. Anonymous12:29 PM

    Woah, woah, woah... I don't even have a comment on MySpace friends positions, for, as a general rule, I do not ever, ever, ever go to MySpace... for anything.

    But, MC Brains? I didn't think anyone still owned that! I didn't even read the post before I knew I had to come and post on that. And then I see someone stole my posting-before-reading gimmick. Now if only I knew someone who both owned an MC Brains CD and did not shun CD copying.

    In closing, I'd like to call "shenanigans" on a previous poster's claims of keeping up with people via phone. This is the same person who never, ever answers when you call him. Shenanigans, I say!

  6. Anonymous5:53 PM

    I hate myspace, but felt compelled to do a dumbass page for YOU and for my stepdaughter so that I can be obnoxious to you. A couple of cow-irkers are also on myspace so I can leave snarky comments.

    I have no desire to be in the top spot unless it means SWAG for me.

    Are you working any Warthogs games this year, or only Grasshoppers? We'll definitely try and meet up for a beverage at a ballgame.

    Word verification of the day: "bdiqs". But I don't want to be a dick. ;)

  7. Anonymous8:52 PM

    Cow-irkers?! I love it! Now, if only I had a job, so that I could use that one on a regular basis!

  8. Bebo,

    I have a media pass for the WS Warthogs... So eventually I'll be working a game.

    As for the swag... I do believe that I owe you a little something something.

  9. Anonymous2:43 PM

    Let me know when you're working the 'hogs game - I bought my 10-pack of tickets so we are definitely ready to head out to the ball park. I can't wait until school is out so we can take The Boy and hit a Thirsty Thursday or two.

    Bebo, boys, beer, baseball -- it's all good!