Thursday, April 05, 2007

David Bowie 'Heroes'

Despite the opinions of everyone I know… I think that I’m pretty normal. Sure, I’ve got the usual amounts of phobias and idiosyncrasies… But there’s a new wrinkle developing and it kind of worries me.

I first noticed it about a month ago when a female friend of mine walked into the bar to meet me for a couple of rounds. She was wearing pumps and it was the first time that I had ever seen her wearing that type of feminine footwear. She looked good in them and I told her so.

I have never, EVER been a foot man. As a matter of fact, I generally despise feet and that thought reaches all the way down to the end of my own legs. I never get close to my own feet unless I’m drying them off from the shower, clipping nails, or putting on socks. Feet have always been viewed by me as disgusting germ factories in overdrive.

I have a male friend who admires the feet of women so much so that he uses phrases like “bubble toes” and a few others that I cannot remember. He believes that seeing the feet of women is kind of like seeing them naked. I don’t get that logic, but hey, that’s his hang up and I’m cool with it.

He doesn’t get off on touching feet or footwear, he simply likes to admire the attractive feet of women.

So when I met my friend for drinks again, she had on a new pair of red pumps. As we sat at the bar, she lifted her leg and placed her foot on the corner of the barstool. There was her red and sparkly pump right there between my legs.

“Do you like my shoes?” she chirpily asked.

“Yes,” I answered. “There’s no place like home.”

I couldn’t help but notice how attractive they made her feet look. I could see that she had painted her nails to match the shoes and I had never seen her do that before. Never have I seen her with painted nails of any kind.

Last night, I met this friend for drinks at Solaris. And for some reason, I checked out her shoes…. Black pumps I believe, but I can’t be sure because of the dim lighting. She made mention of the shoes and I told her that they gave her some toe cleavage.

Yes. Toe cleavage. She seemed quite pleased to hear that.

I had no idea such a thing existed until Chris Roulhac mentioned it once. If I recall correctly, I laughed at such nonsense. Then she gave me an article from a newspaper proclaiming “toe cleavage” as the sexiest thing this side of boobs. Let me just say… It totally blew my mind. Was the world going to hell in a foot bath?

What is going on with me?

As a matter of fact, the shoe thing is quite new to her. Even in the summer, she would wear black boots. So it seems that she is developing some sort of pump fetish.

I seriously don’t know if I’m losing my mind. I don’t need another fetish in my life. And not to mention one that involves feet!


  1. Anonymous10:37 AM

    There's nothing "usual" about the number of phobias and idiosyncracies you have.

    PS: Foot fetish guys are creepy.

  2. Anonymous10:48 AM

    Ok feet.. why is it on children they are sooooooooo cute but yet they get uglier and nastier as we age? lol

  3. Anonymous8:11 PM

    Don't fight it.

  4. Joan...?

    What kind of perv are you?

  5. Anonymous10:24 PM

    hey, I'm not into feet. Maybe you are really into shoes.

  6. I don't know what it is, Joan. But I totally understand why a woman wouldn't be into feet. Seriously, when have you even seen a good looking foot on a dude?

    I can totally see a woman digging on the appearances of other women's feet and shoes. Of course, that'll lead me into the "why I think more than half the women out there are bi-sexual/bi-curious" debate...

    I really don't think it's the shoes.

  7. Anonymous11:49 PM

    Um, ick, Eugene. Trust me, we aren't "digging the appearances of other women's feet and shoes." We may see shoes we'd like FOR OURSELVES but that's the extent of it. There isn't one iota of bi-sexual/bi-curious desire involved. Other women's feet, indeed. Ick again.

  8. Anonymous6:01 AM

    lol what Christine said but with a double ick lol