Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Non-Conformist Cult Radio Show 12/19/03

The title of each blog is the musical selection of my day. Once again, a copy of my old college radio show has popped up in my rotation.

I don't have much of an update today because I've been a little busy. I'm waiting for the weekend when I can turn up an entire bottle of Jim Beam and puke in the comfort of my home with no one requesting anything special of me.

I had to put together my mother's new computer today. And I'll be honest, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to PC's. Sure... Hooking them up is a no-brainer, but when it comes to logging on the Internet for the first time and all that crap, it's enough to forget about the weekend and start one with Mr. Beam.

Of course my mother forgot the necessary password to log on, so I had to leave before she started calling technicians at Bellsouth. She was tearing through the house looking for the information that she put in a safe place and as far as I know, she hasn't found it yet.

Then I had to go into work early to secure a few things for the 2 Guys Named Chris show. They're making folks strap on pantyhose with an orange in it. Particpants dangle those babies between their legs and swing them in order to "bowl" another orange 50 yards. The winner gets the big Orange Bowl prize to see Wake Forest take on the Louisville Cardinals.

I took 56 oranges and 27 pairs of pantyhose to the cashier at the new Harris Teeter in Friendly Center. I said, "Go ahead. Ask me."

Jennifer didn't say anything. She only cracked a tiny smile.

"You can ask. It's okay," I assured her. "I'm going on a crime spree and Vitamin C is one of the things most crooks forget about."

Her smile got a little bigger and I told her the truth. She only had one question... What was I going to do with all the oranges after the promotion?

I still don't have an answer.


  1. Anonymous9:40 PM

    Assuming the oranges end up in the same condition in which they started (not squashed or otherwise mangled), Urban Ministry would probably be happy to have them.

  2. Anonymous9:33 AM

    Are you clueless??

    Jennifer at Harris Teeter had a few ideas of what one could do with 56 oranges and 27 pairs of pantyhose and she was hoping she would get to chance to show you. But you missed the boat.

    You missed out on an opportunity that only a few lucky souls in a Thailand brothel get to experience. It would have been your own private Christmas miracle.

  3. I AM clueless.

    As for the oranges... I don't remember too many taking them home after the event.

    Jamey Kerr, our operations manager, wanted to take some home that were not bruised. After I pointed out the purpose of the orange's protective peel... He informs me about cooking with orange peel for more zest or something like that. Zeal... Maybe.

    As for the Thailand brothel experience... The "dirty Harry and crazy Mary"?

  4. Or is that the "dirty Mary crazy Larry"?

    "Two finger Gary"?

  5. Anonymous2:20 PM

    I take joy in hearing customres piss and moan about the new ( and by new, I mean big and crappy ) Teeter. It makes eyes smile. I have a friend there and all he can do is complain about it. As far as oranges and bowling go, it was nice to see Wake get there, but the dream ride comes to a crashing halt in Miami. Oh how they will lose. I'm calling it.

  6. Anonymous8:50 PM

    What baffles me about the new Teeter is... what in the world was wrong with the original Taj Ma Teeter? Why were they compelled to build another?

  7. Anonymous10:40 AM

    The problem was they were tired of movie patrons using their parking area. Furthermore, Teeter is expanding its death grip on the northeast side of town by adding another to take the place of the Bi-Lo in the Target shopping center, which brings the total number of Teeters in Greensboro to 8, 10 by 2008. I smell monopoly.

  8. Anonymous2:04 PM

    Man, the day the Teeter is the only grocery option in town is the day I am forced to take it old-school and start growing my own food. I'm suprised they don't charge 20 bucks just to get into that place.

  9. Anonymous11:02 PM

    10 Teeters in G'boro doesn't surprise me.

    Hell, we have three Food Lions in Kernersville.

    I'm a Teeterer myself. I just wish that we had a Fresh Market or Whole Foods for some specialty stuff.

  10. Anonymous12:28 AM

    There are already 8 Teeters in GSO. (Friendly Center, New Garden, Battleground, Golden Gate, Pisgah Church, West Market, Guilford College, and Adams Farm - I work with 6 of them.) In addition to the Target location, they're also building one out Battleground/Horsepen Creek area that should be done by spring. Beyond that, I don't know - but I'm sure it's all in Teeter's grand plan for world domination.

    Besides the movie theatre-related parking problems at the old Friendly Center Teeter, they also had space problems with both their wine department and their warehouse storage areas. In a nutshell, they'd outgrown the building.

    I also heard a(totally uncomfirmed)rumor that, in exchange for building the huge flagship store in the new section, Starmount Development guaranteed them exclusivity for all of Friendly Center. Word is both Whole Foods and Fresh Market were originally interested in (and being courted for) the space. So HT wisely signed on the dotted line and made themselves the only game in town.

  11. You know... I prefer Harris Teeter to the other chains. I especially dig the self-checkout. I don't get much at the grocery store and I can usually find nothing but empty lines at those stations.