Tuesday, November 28, 2006

KISS 'Alive! 1975 - 2000'

Yes, I’m still listening to the same CD box set from KISS. The title of each blog is the musical listening choice of the day. And this box set has 4 CD’s in it. I’m listening to the last one titled ‘KISS ALIVE: The Millennium Concert 2000’. This particular recording has been in the can and ready for release for over 5 years. At the time and for reasons unknown, the release was held back. Now after hearing it, I know why. It sounds like a sluggish and bored KISS thanks to the drumming of Peter Criss.

It sounds as if the band has to wait on the Cat Man throughout the recording. This particular recording is all right to own as a souvenir if you saw any of the shows in 2000 or if you’re a diehard KISS fan. Overall, I like this box set, but I’m not getting rid of my original ‘ALIVE!’ CD’s because the mixes are slightly different.

Shall we get into some hardcore blogging?

I went to Preston (my nephew) and Richard’s (my brother-in-law) birthday party on Sunday afternoon. I went to put on my favorite pair of shorts. A pair of Wrangler denim shorts.

Years ago, I caught the back pocket on a piece of conveyor equipment while walking around a pallet of CD’s. It wasn’t anything that could have cost me my life; I just caught the pocket on the barrier that keeps the boxes on the part of the conveyor that redirects the flow with a turn.

The denim gave way next to where the pocket was sewn on. The gash was two and ½ inches and exposed my boxer briefs. I spent the rest of the day with duct tape on my ass.

It just so happened that day in the warehouse; temporary workers were splitting up the Slaughter box set. It was a package where you could purchase the CD and VHS tape together. For the added value, they threw in a Slaughter patch. Since they were no longer selling, they had to be separated in order to restock the CD and VHS supplies. The patches were to be thrown out.

A coworker told me about them and I grabbed a few. I took them home and ironed one on. My friend Shonna Whitley was kind enough to stitch that joker on by hand. She did an excellent job because the damn thing has been on there for at least 8 years.

Through the years, whenever I wore those shorts out in public, my ass would get funny looks. Not because of its manly girth, it was because Slaughter had fallen out of public favor. They were seen as a joke just as God had originally intended.

I was never a fan of Slaughter. I merely used the patch because it was doing its job by keeping the hole closed up and from exposing my boxer briefs to the world. I wasn’t making a proclamation or dedication to the 80’s hair band Slaughter. But with that patch on my ass, that’s the way it seemed. I didn’t mind. The patch was free and I didn’t have any others.

Sure, I’d love to have a KISS, Cheap Trick, or Kix patch on my ass, but like my manhood, I had to work with what I was given. Love them or hate them, the Slaughter patch kept you from seeing my unmentionables and quite possibly, my dimpled pasty white ass.

Here’s a picture of my jeans and the location of the patch on the left cheek pocket. It doesn’t look that bad. But with the miracle of a pencil being inserted under the patch, you can see exactly where the thread has given up the good fight to keep my ass at bay.

The next picture shows the inside view of my shorts. You can clearly see the two and ½ gash and where the thread has come undone.

From the next photograph, you can see that I have a replacement Slaughter patch that has been stored away initially as a collector’s item. Yes, I had visions of one day selling the patch on eBay for a great sum of money. I don’t think that day will come.

So should I take the patch, sew it one and overlap it with the logo upright?

Or should I sew it one and overlap the existing patch with the logo inverted as if to say “I’m anti-Slaughter”?

Or should I simply take off the old patch and replace it with the new one? You can see in the photograph that the patch is starting to show some wear and tear. Take special notice of the pocket seam between the “S” and “l” of “Slaughter” wear the fabric has worn down.

Perhaps you have a better patch for me… So I’m asking anyone out there with a spare patch to send it to me. I’ll picture each patch on the blog and you can vote on which patch gets sewn on my Wrangler denim shorts.

In other words, my ass is depending on you. Send those patches in…

Eugene's Ass

C/O Rock 92

192 E. Lewis St

Greensboro, NC 27406


  1. Can't wait to have that KISS collection in my hands!

    I recently bought the Paul Stanley solo album 'Live to Win' and it blows my brain out.

    I have been KISS fan since I was 6 or so, I'm almost 32 now and still like them.

    Sorry for that pair of shorts, I surely can get you a better patch, but I'm in México. Anyway, Slaughter is not that bad, isn't it??

    Greetings from México.

  2. Anonymous5:45 PM

    Every time a member of the KISS Army sews a Slaughter patch on their busted up jeans, Baby Gene Simmons cries...

  3. I'm sorry andrealp, but Slaughter does indeed suck. Although I did enjoy Mr. Slaughter and Dana Strum when they played with ex-KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent.

    As for the Paul Stanley 'Live To Win' CD, it took a while for me to warm up to it. But I love it!

    Do you live in Mexico?

  4. Kim,

    That was too funny!