Thursday, January 19, 2006

'Making A Remote Change' A mix tape by Chip Kinney

It’s now official! My five-year-old nephew, Preston, is gaga over ‘The Dukes Of Hazzard’. I put season one on his Netflix queue to kind of give him a taste… I mean, what’s not to love about that show if you’re 5 and you have a penis?

It’s got everything! Bad behavior, cops and robbers, a flashy hot rod that mf’ing jumps around the countryside, and Daisy Duke. And it’s easy for him to understand, it’s not like an episode of ‘Homicide: Life On The Streets’. He gets it!

There were times Preston belly laughed and asked to see some things over again. Then, there was a time where Preston repeated what Sheriff Roscoe P. Coletrain said. Preston enjoyed saying the word “jackass” over and over again. Of course, I gave him the usual spiel about saying “those” kind of words. I don’t think he got the full appreciation of my explanation until he said it in front of his bible-toting Grandmother whose eyes lit fire in my general direction.

I told him that if he continued saying those kinds of words, we couldn’t watch the “cool” movies anymore. We would only get to watch ‘Cinderella’ and ‘The Care Bears’. I trust now that he will be in compliance with my rules.

I got all 5 discs (1 was for Preston) from Netflix yesterday and after my brisk work out, I knocked out two of them. First up… ‘Venom’.

This film had the unlucky timing of coming out right after the Katrina Hurricane destroyed New Orleans. And if that were not enough, its swamp voodoo angle leads you to believe that you’re in Bayou country. I remember all the press for it wasn’t so good, but it is a “slasher” type of horror movie and that appeals to me.

I liked this movie because it gave you the evil character’s background right off the bat. The mythology was set up and then it’s killing time. There are some very creative ways in which the killer causes death in his victims. As a matter of fact, I may never look at a tire iron the same way again. OH! And he drives around in a large tow-truck with “Happy Time Towing” painted on the doors. How creepy is that?

And being a mechanic/tow truck operator, you hear the jingle of his large key ring hanging off his belt as he looks for you in the shadows.

Yeah, it’s standard slasher fare, but it’s a fun ride. I’m giving it 4 out of 5 stars on Netflix.

Then I watched ‘Alien vs. Predator’ which was okay. I was surprised to find Lance Henrickson in the film because he was the robot/android in the original ‘Alien’ movie. I had a few problems with it… The whole time line was screwed up because ‘Predator’ took place in the 1980’s and ‘Alien’ is set in the future even by today’s standards. But, I shut my brain off and watched it anyway. It was fun and I’m giving it 3 out of 5 stars on Netflix.

‘Lord Of War’ with Nicolas Cage really surprised me. I really dug it! It’s smart, it’s funny, and it’s a representation of what I think is going on in the world. I think that it comes across a little left-handed with an underlying gun control message, but as the movie points out, there’s really not much that we can do about it. People want to kill people and it’s as simple as that. And as far as I can tell, the world isn’t going to change.

I’m giving that film 4 out of 5 stars as well.

This morning I watched ‘The Man’ with Eugene Levy and Samuel L. Jackson. It’s one of those fish-out-of-water buddy pictures. And it’s a blast!

Eugene Levy can just crack you up with a look and my opinion; he’s talented, very versatile, and highly underrated. Just check out some ‘SCTV’. It’s out on DVD too.

There is one thing that I must point out… There’s a continuity error in the film. A continuity error is where something changes without any sense in the film from one scene or shot to another. For example: In ‘Pretty Woman’, there’s a close-up of Richard Gere with his shut buttoned. And in the cut to the next camera angle, his shirt is unbuttoned. We didn’t see him do it. It was just a mistake.

There’s the disappearing and reappearing Zoo advertisement on the side of the bus in ‘Speed’.

Get the picture? They’re fun to look for…

In ‘The Man’, Levy tries running away from Jackson. Jackson pulls out the gun and the film goes to a close up of Levy’s behind as he’s running. A squib pack blows on his left ass check to indicate where the bullet found purchase. The next shot is Levy falling to the ground grabbing his right ass check.

I look for these things… It’s a sickness.

I compare this film to the very underrated film with Bill Murray, ‘The Man Who Knew Too Little’. I’m giving ‘The Man’ 4 out of 5 stars.

Not a bad haul with these movies, huh? I should be getting ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ season 3 by the weekend.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:56 PM

    Season Three of Buffy. That was a good season to be male, straight and to have a semi-workable penis.