Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Jethro Tull 'Benefit'

The only objective that I had about last Friday was getting my blood alcohol levels in the Bon Scott zone. So, instead of power drinking white russians until brainwave activity ceased; I decided to attend the cookout at work.

You can find out a lot of things about your co-workers as you sit there filling your mouth with various meat products. Different stories come to surface about the people that you work with. People that you only know by association.

I’ve never been a big fan of company picnics. I once worked in a place where you saw folks constantly bickering against the middle management types whose only purpose seemed to be getting rid of employees as soon as they were hired. So, you can see why I never enjoyed those outings. I even hated the Christmas parties, as did everyone else, and eventually, that company quit having any other functions.

But I actually enjoyed last Friday’s cookout. I found myself chatting with salespeople that I rarely get to see.

After I ate, I downloaded a few things for my boss and then went to housesit my ex-girlfriend’s place. She was making her way to Lake Norman for her last summer hurrah.

I picked up the makings for white russians on the way there.

Right around 4 in the afternoon, I fixed my first of many alcoholic beverages. I drank them right up to 12:30 the next morning before I called it quits. I never achieved the lofty Bon Scott goal. I didn’t even get a buzz. So, I turned off disc 3 of season 2 of ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’ from Netflix and went to bed.

Marcia Gan and myself had to deliver the KZL van to the Bryan Park soccer complex Saturday morning. We were told that all we had to do was leave it.

There was this BIG soccer thing going on all day.

That was no joke. As soon as I got there, I was breaking out in hives. The place was crawling with sandal wearing-soccer playing Euro trash. It was awful. I have no respect for soccer. I hate it. I have very little respect for Americans that play the game. The game has no future in this country.

Of course, that is my opinion.

But, I remember a time when they tried to shove the game down our throats with Pele back in the early 70’s. That joker was plastered everywhere. He was on cereal boxes. He was promoting various crap on television commercials. I had no idea who he was. I only knew that he was a soccer player from another country. They never talked about him on the sports news at channel two. Who cared?

I had heard of soccer but I had never seen it. I didn’t want to see it. It sounded like a dumb sport to me.

When I did finally see it, I became easily bored by it.

Soccer doesn’t work in this country. Why don’t the kids that play it understand that there is no future for it here in America?

Whenever we totally accept the metric system, only then will we accept soccer.

My nephew wants to play soccer for some reason. No one in our family gives two piles of dung about the sport. So, it’s my job to harass him about it. Even his mother doesn’t want him to play something popular with sandal wearing Euro trash.

At the soccer complex, I came to the conclusion that soccer makes you stupid.

The parking lot is set up for one-way traffic. When folks were leaving, they totally ignored the signs at the entrance. They disregarded the arrows painted on the asphalt. It was like an idiot convention.

I’ve been to a few Poison concerts where the average IQ is well below genius levels and even we understood the concept of one-way traffic.

While driving the van through the parking lot to take it back to the station, one of these soccer people walked into it. That’s right! He walked right into it and he seemed to get upset about his own stupidity.

He and his buddy were about 10 feet to the right in front of me. They both looked up and stopped in their tracks. As I was passing them, one of the geniuses walked right into the side of the van. Being too stupid to realize that he was dumb, he got angry and hit the side view mirror, knocking it out of place.

Soccer is a sport for those with poor intelligence. Think about it. You hear about the stupid stadium riots they have when a team loses or when they’re out of beer. Hell, I remember when a guy was shot and killed because he missed a game-winning goal.

Is this a game that we really want to teach our young?

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