Monday, May 02, 2005

Alice Cooper 'Hey Stoopid'

Over the weekend, I finally got to have a sit down session with those laughing Netflix DVD’s.

First up, ‘Open Water’.

I don’t know exactly what to think about that movie. On many levels, I like it. But, I have a feeling of dissatisfaction. It has the docudrama type of feel, much like ‘The Blair Witch Project’. But, the viewer is someone who watches it all unfold without any vested interest in the characters. Unlike ‘Blair Witch’, it’s more like a reality show. The camera’s eye is just along for the ride.

I didn’t care about the characters. The sound quality was for crap. And, I knew that only two things could happen. Either they get rescued or they perish. The film was pretty clean cut.

If you like reality shows, check it out. It’s mildly entertaining.

The second offering, ‘Phone Booth’.

I HIGHLY recommend this film. I don’t think a killer could achieve the same effects in real life, but… It’s a movie. It’s all about suspension of disbelief and when you come to terms with that, baby… This movie is a thrill ride. I was on edge for most of the hour and twenty minutes.

This player, Stu (Colin Ferrell), makes the same call everyday from a phone booth. The last one left in New York City. A high and mighty, deranged lunatic stalks Stu to learn his secrets and lies. The killer has called upon himself to make wrongs right.

Stu gets a phone call from the killer. If he hangs up, he will be shot dead. For proof of a weapon, Stu has a friendly laser dot to show where a bullet will meet his body. The killer lets Stu know about his transgressions and how it can alter the lives of the people that he surrounds himself with. From his wife to his girlfriend, even his assistant.

Eventually, craziness erupts because an exotic dancer/hooker wants the booth to call a john. More dancers/hookers are called into action as well as the doorman from the topless establishment. Stu has to stay on the phone and the killer tells him that he can easily take out the angry doorman when given the word. Stu gives in and that’s when the police become involved.

I won’t tell you anymore, I want you to see it. You will not be disappointed.

The third DVD… Season two, disc one of ‘24’.

I’m starting to notice things about ‘24’ that kind of cheapen a really good show. Let me explain…

During the first season, Kim Bauer (Jack’s daughter) spends a lot of time in a T-shirt that has been modified to show off her breasts. And, if that were not enough, she spent most of the season running. You get the idea. Her breasts are flopping dramatically from side to side. Normally, I don’t mind such things and to be quite honest, I never really noticed. I’m just not that much of a “boob man”.

I’m sure the producers sat down with the writers when they were discussing plot lines for the second season and something like this was said… “So, how do we get Kim running and flopping?”

A bright young writer speaks up, “We could make her a nanny. But, there’s a dark family secret. The husband is abusive and Kim makes it her duty to keep the child from harm… We can work in a series of on-foot chase scenes.”

“Brilliant! That will pump up our 6 to 90 male demographics!”

Another thing that I noticed, the show tends to be blonde intensive when shooting outdoors. I don’t know if the camera loves the sun playing off of blonde hair or what, it’s just something that I’ve noticed.

There are two blonde sisters who are planning an outdoor wedding. It’s southern California so there’s lots of sun to shine off their hair. Also, Kim Bauer is blonde.

On the other side of that observation, the dark home of CTU is very brunette intensive. Tony has dark hair. Paula has dark hair and most of the other CTU staffers are dark haired. Interesting. At least, I think so.

Has anyone else noticed this? Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.

I’m a fan of breakfast fast food and there’s been a question bothering me for some time. Why don’t they make hamburger biscuits?

In my own kitchen, I’ve flirted with adding an egg to my hamburgers and cheeseburgers. Eggs are delicious on them.

I’ve always thought that it would be a natural progression. We’ve already investigated the idea of putting another staple of morning plates on burgers. Bacon is quite popular. You can find bacon cheeseburgers just about everywhere. If you can’t, I’m very sure that you will not get weird stares in restaurants when you ask if you can add bacon.

Fast food is all about hamburgers. Why would this be a difficult concept? The places are loaded with them. Why not extend hamburgers to the breakfast table?

Join me in the quest of receiving “crazier than hell” looks and ask for a hamburger biscuit some time.

Last Wednesday, I attended the Mother’s Finest show at Ziggy’s over in Winston-Salem. It was a great show! Unfortunately, I missed Marcus and the Mantras. I’ve seen them before and they are a pretty damn good local band. If you see them on the bill at your local bar sometime, check ‘em out.

The crowd was quite eclectic. There were mullets. There were dreadlocks and there were hippies. It was a very interesting mix of people and everyone was getting along. It was just like George Clinton sings about, ‘One Nation Under A Groove’. The dreads and hippies were dancing as the mullets were headbangin’.

I was hanging out with Brad “Hinzy” Hines and Marcia Gan. They had staked out a good spot in front of the soundboard. There was a raised platform there where we could see a little bit better because the place was hopping with people.

Marcia was dancing very much like a white girl. She says that’s because she is white.

I shouldn’t say anything at all, because I’m the type that just stands there, looking as if I’m bored. It’s not because I am bored, I’m the type that’s taking it all in and evaluating it. It’s the music critic / concert reviewer inside of me. We all have fun in different ways, don’t we?

Marcia was dancing from side to side, foot to foot, with her red hair swishing around to the beat like a crazed fish tail. It was almost hypnotizing.

For some reason, I figured Marcia as a pogo dancer. Hmmm…

Yesterday, I got to sit down and watch the Talladega race from start to finish. Nothing really all that weird happened. There was a twenty-five car pile-up between turns one and two, but that’s not unusual.

Since I became a race fan, I’ve always heard rumors about the speedway being on Indian burial ground. Friends have told me about the different curses levied onto the living by the upset spirits. And, to be quite honest, there IS something going on at that track. Weird things happen at that track.

Very few first time NASCAR Nextel/Winston Cup race winners at Talladega go on to win any more races in any other division. As a matter of fact, most of those first timers just fall out of racing altogether. They become footnotes in the history of NASCAR.

One race that I was watching had a nasty crash in turn one. Fourteen or so cars stacked up causing Rick Mast’s car to become airborne and sail right over the wall. That’s a good roll down a steep, sixty feet embankment on the other side.

When the cameras caught up with Mast, he was taking off his helmet, stroking his hair back into place while walking around what was left of his car. He didn’t look hurt and the only thing left of the car was the driver’s area roll-cage with a few panels of sheet metal attached. After seeing the replays and the wreckage of Mast’s car, you would have thought that he would have received the greatest of injuries. But, it didn’t happen that way.

Ricky Craven got the worst of it. The crash did a number on his skull. His involvement in the wreck didn’t look all that bad from our perspective. But, it put him out of racing for over a year.

Davey Allison died there in a helicopter crash. Allison was the pilot and he just underestimated the fencing around the helipad. He was less than twelve feet off the ground just before crashing. I found that very unusual.

Just a couple of years ago, I was watching a Busch series race with my Father. I can’t remember whom it happened to but he had led most of the race. The driver had a machine that was tearing up the competition. No one could touch him.

Something weird started to happen with about sixty laps to go… The sponsor decal on hood was starting to peel off.

Keep in mind that these things just don’t peel off, those things are on there for good. But, it was happening. Every lap at 190mph was just peeling that joker off, little by little. And with about 10 laps to go, it had come completely off and was sucked into the car’s air intake cowl. That’s the little space between the hood and windshield.

That caused the car to overheat and blow up the engine just before the checkered flag. The second place car eventually caught the lead and won the race.

I haven’t checked for any websites that document the Talladega weirdness or the legends about it being on Indian burial ground. I’m sure it’s out there, somewhere.

So, when there’s racing this October at Talladega, suspend your disbelief and watch what happens.


  1. Anonymous5:10 AM


  2. Anonymous6:14 PM

    Good observation on the blonde/brunette thing. I didn't notice it, but then again, I gave up on 24 before the third season played out. Kim was one of the reasons. Jiggly boobs or not, that character was a major annoyance.

    Next time I'm up at an ungodly hour in the morning, I'm ordering a hamburger, bacon, egg and cheese biscuit. A stellar call.