Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Tossing Away A Lifeline

Today has me nervous. We’ll be taking a step that has me unsure. We’re cutting the cord… Getting rid of cable television. It makes me uneasy just by typing it out because I haven’t been without cable or satellite television since MTV was a new thing. Ronald Reagan was in the White House. And everything on TBS ran five minutes later than every network.

The new Roku 4 arrives today from Amazon. I’m excited about that. We have one of the first pucks in our bedroom. The thing has provided excellent service for like 5 years now. And since the Roku 4 has a remote that you can talk into, the MIL shouldn’t have any problems.

The Spectrum remote kind of gives her a fit. For one thing, she’s too vain to wear glasses. Oh, a housecoat is a fine and dandy garment to spend the whole day wearing, but glasses? Oh no. She cannot have that. So, she can’t ever see anything on the remote. She’ll pause her “story”, ‘The Days of Our Lives’, but she won’t fast forward through the commercials for fears of hitting a button that she cannot see and messing it all up. She was a bit delighted to know that the Roku remote has about 20% of the buttons that the Spectrum remote possesses.

I’m thinking about adding a live streaming TV service. It’s a lot cheaper than cable and I get a lot of the networks that I actually watch. As for Spectrum, I get a lot of crappy networks that I never watch. As for the MIL, she watches some of those, in my opinion, crappy networks. She loves her murder porn on the ID Channel. But I’m sure that she can find something interesting and basically on demand with the Roku. I’ll be looking for a housecoat enthusiast channel. I’m sure that one exists… A lifestyle housecoat channel with programs like…
‘Housecoats Weekly’
‘Housecoaters International’
‘This Old Housecoat’
‘Little Housecoat on the Prairie’
‘Housecoats of the Rich and Famous’
‘Desperate Housecoats’
‘Housecoat Improvement’
‘Housecoat of Cards’
‘Better Housecoats & Gardens’
‘Housecoat M.D.’

If you have one to add, leave it in the comments.

I’m sure that I’m going to lose a lot of NASCAR coverage unless I get a live streaming package. I’ll probably miss out on one of my favorite programs, ‘The Walking Dead’, when it comes back on in October. I’m sure there are some less legal ways to watch my faves online, but I just don’t like taking chances with a computer. There’s no telling what I could pick up. Tracking bugs and viruses. Maybe I’m paranoid, but that’s what I think about those sites. They lure us in with the shows and sports that are being illegally transmitted and while we’re there, they’re getting all kinds of information from us. Passwords to bank accounts, Social Security numbers, and how many housecoats that we’ve ordered from QVC.

The experiment begins this week while I manage to clean off the DVR of programs that I need to watch. I’m nervous and yet excited. But part of me feels like it’ll be like losing my right arm. I have a fear that I’ll be wandering the neighborhood looking for a televised fix through the windows of our neighbors.


  1. Days of our Housecoats. The Housecoats and the Restless. Housecoat Hunters.

  2. Man vs. Housecoat
    Housecoat Nightmares
    Better Call Housecoat
    Housecoat Rock