Thursday, February 04, 2016

Showering like Mr. Magoo

Life can be tough on those of us with poor vision. It’s not a joke. At least to me it’s not.

Every time Chigs cleans our shower, she moves things around to different spots. It’s a real hoot getting into the shower, going for the shampoo, and it’s not there. Then I have to look for it by grabbing each bottle and pulling it close to my face to read the label. And I have to repeat the process with the conditioner. If you know anything about women, there are going to be LOTS of hair products in and around the shower.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not at Mr. Magoo levels of near-sightedness. But I’m quite blind in the shower without my spectacles.

I have complained to Chigs and tried to arrive at some sort of reasonable compromise. But it just wasn’t taking hold. She’s tougher than a Corn Nut to crack.

I started keeping my hair products on the floor of the shower. I thought for sure no one would ever bother them. I kept the shampoo on the left and the conditioner on the right. You know, like reading. You move from left to right. It’s a fairly universal way of keeping things organized.

But my plan just wasn’t working. My hair products would still be on the shower floor, but they were always conditioner left and shampoo right. It made me want to call a house meeting so we could all go over simple left to right protocol.

I mean, am I wrong about that? Is it unacceptable these days to follow the left to right directive? Did the United Nations deem it unworthy of common sense and sent out proclamations to end left to right?

So instead of calling an informational and accusatory meeting for those that live under the roof with me, I caved and got out my Sharpie.

I drew an “S” on the shampoo and a “C” on the conditioner. It was a simple solution to a problem that I knew… Deep down inside… wasn’t going to go away no matter how much I appeal to my better sighted family.

They didn’t and wouldn’t care, but the weird thing is this… The folks are now adhering to the left to right practice.

I really shouldn’t question it too much, because if I do things will revert to pandemonium for the blind naked guy that takes showers without his glasses.

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