Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Rolling Stones 'Dirty Work'

The world is loaded with mysteries. And sometimes mysteries appear within your own little world.

Recently I have noticed something in the bottom of the toilet bowl. Something that appeared to be commonly found clinging to life in the bowl after a flush. A small pebble of excrement that pro wrestler Mick Foley has described as a nugget.

I went on with my day. I was able to sleep later that night. I just didn’t give it much thought. Soon another flush will take care of things and our toilet will be business as usual.

But there it was the next day. The nugget was still sitting at the bottom of the bowl enjoying the view of a perplexed fat guy with a full bladder.

I was still confident that another flush would be the one to take the nugget away from my little world.

After finishing my business, I pushed the handle down and watched the nugget disappear from view. Once the flush had completed its cycle, I stepped back to get a better look.

The nugget had only moved back a little. I flushed again only to watch it do a little dance as the torrents of water washed around, under, and over it. I left it resting in the bottom again without much thought. Deep in my heart, I knew it was only a matter of time before the nugget would be worn down, torn apart, and/or flushed away.

The next day Chigger asked me, “Have you noticed something at the bottom of the toilet bowl?”

I gave her my theories, but curiosity got the best of me. Once and for all this mystery was going to be solved.

I did want any man would do. I suggested that she reach down and pull it out with her hand. She balked at the idea and then I knew that I would have to do what a real man would do… Reach in with my own hand and solve the mystery.

My fingers touched a rounded but rough object. Once in my grasp, I pulled our little toilet irritant from the cool water. It was solid with a little weight. Presented to my eyes, it was obvious that I was looking at a small rock. I gave Chigger a quick and to the point review of my findings as I presented our mystery to her.

“How do you think passed that?” she asked.

“Honey,” I said with slight disbelief of the question. “I don’t think anyone in this house is swallowing rocks.”

Sure. There’s another mystery concerning our little nugget, but it’s something I’m sure will never come to a conclusion. I have a theory concerning a young man removing his clothes for shower with our mystery nugget falling from a pocket. But it’s purely speculation.


  1. Eugene...I would have to lean towards your theory of the mystery rock. having a son of nearly the same age....I can attest to the fact that you find all sorts of things in those grubby little pockets AND that they never empty those same pockets EVER on their own.

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