Yes I know… I haven’t updated this joker in a while and I don’t really feel like doing it now. Why? Because I’m sick.
I felt like a sore throat was coming on Wednesday morning. It wasn’t bad, but cough drops didn’t seem to help at all. I thought nothing of it and continued with my day and got my haircut that night.
I had planned on seeing Walk Hard, but when I got to my truck right after my haircut… I couldn’t stop shivering for a full 2 minutes until the truck got fully heated.
I got home and put on my leather coat over my jacket. And that didn’t really seem to help. I took my temperature and found out that I had a fever. Great!
By the next day, I woke to find that the top of my throat had become a big cue ball of pain. It felt large and it hurt to swallow so much that I didn’t even want to eat. I didn’t have any cold symptoms… So I did what I haven’t been able to do in close to 7 years… I went to see a doctor.
I kept putting it off and putting it off… I don’t like going to the doctor. I’m always afraid they’ll find something that I don’t wanna know about. I’m totally at ease with finding out about an illness and going out like Eazy-E. It’s the treatment part and “staying strong” that I’ve got a problem with.
I don’t like the crowded offices full of sick folk like me… And imagine my surprise when I found an almost empty office!
I filled out the paperwork and in about 30 minutes I was in an examination room having my arm squeezed and my temperature taken by a machine! This particular nurse actually believed the reading on the machine when it came to my blood pressure. She didn’t take it again like most nurses using the old-fashioned manual way. Most nurses typically say while squeezing my arm a second time, “A man your size doesn’t usually have a BP this low.”
For the record… My BP is 115 over 77. Choke on that, you non-drinking vegetarians. I’ve always been a few heart beats over dead.
The nurse then took a long swap-stick to rub on the back of my throat for a strep test. I said, “Now I’m going to warn ya… I really don’t wanna throw up on you.”
“That rarely happens,” she said. “All I ask is that you don’t spit on me.”
Amazingly, I handled my gag-reflex easily! Linda Lovelace would have been proud of me. I had no mishaps and the nurse gave me a pat on the back.
Then an Ears, Nose, and Throat guy can in to tell me that I didn’t have strep. The only symptom that I had was a very sore throat without a runny nose or coughing. I had tonsillitis and it was of the bacterial variety rather than the viral. I didn’t care either way… I just wanted it to go away.
I fully expected to hear that I had throat cancer and my days left on Earth were few.
But the doctor went on to check my ears… They looked good, clean, and free of infection. Then he looked up my nose and found the same deal there.
He sat down, wrote me a prescription, and we chit-chatted about rock n’ roll. It seems that Dr. Keever was part of Ozzy Osbourne’s rider… He was Ozzy’s E.N.T. for a local concert stop back in the 90’s.
He gave me my ‘script and I headed towards Walgreen’s. The wait there was more painful than the stay at the Urgent Care. According to the doc, the meds would make me feel a lot better real soon. I must have waited for at least 4 old school Metallica songs (that’s roughly 28 minutes for those you that do not know).
I got the pills, paid for them, and headed home. On the ride, I opened up the bag and bottle to find that the pills were as big as a 1985 Ford Escort. I’m exaggerating of course, but my throat was swollen so bad that it hurt to drink water… It was an easy comparison to make. And it was difficult to swallow. I don’t normally have any problems taking pills, but yesterday I found it very challenging.
After the first pill… I didn’t feel any better. Although I had my appetite, I just didn’t have the will to eat anything. Not even soup. It hurt too much to swallow. I still had a fever and only felt like sleeping. I remember waking up and feeling that swallowing was easier.
Self-preservation has won out and I feel like I can eat something. I also feel a little bit better too.
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