Various Artists 'Goin' Home: A Tribute To Fats Domino'

I got my Zune MP3 player in the mail the other day. It seems that my original player decided to lock up tighter than a nun at an adult video industry convention. They didn’t bother to attempt to fix it… They sent me a new one and automatically signed me up for the new warranty. Awesome!

I will say this… Those folks at Zune/Microsoft were cool to me. The customer service was excellent and I never heard the cry of a single small-eared Indian elephant in the background. I got nothing but considerate service with good ol’ American English.

So I plugged up Gretchen II and it immediately went to work. A lot quicker than the first unit. So obviously, there was definitely something wrong from the get-go. I was amazed to find that it had synched and loaded all the music that I had saved from the last go round. It downloaded all the Robert Plant CD’s along with my Maroon 5. I thought I was going to spend hours trying to figure out how to put them on Gretchen II.

Computers and things like that seem to intimidate me. I don’t really know why. I look more forward to talking with a high-pressure car salesperson than messing with something new on the computer. Whenever I start with those things, I end up cursing loudly and at a high rate of speed. Then I start pulling out my hair and it all ends with me in the floor crying with my face buried in carpet.

And if I have a successful attempt… I will usually walk into a modeling agency afterwards and try to keep the lucky streak alive by using my “come on” lines. That always brings me back down to earth.

As I’m typing this up, I’m thinking about how long it’s going to take me to rip songs from my new Heavens Sake CD in order to put them on Gretchen II. I think that it’s going to be easy, but on the other hand I have a fear that it’s going to be a long drawn out process. Just about the same length of time it takes for bread to get moldy.

Maybe I just need a change of attitude… Perhaps I should take the “who’s the boss” approach and make that bitch submit to me.

--Next week, I will be attending my first NASCAR Busch Series race in over a decade. The last time I saw a race, Dick Trickle (my all-time favorite) was driving. I’m hoping that Robby Gordon will be in that race because I don’t know too many of the Busch Series drivers these days. Since I work a lot on Saturday’s, I have fallen out of touch with them. Sure… The Cup drivers get in there and mix it up, but I’d really like Robby in the field. It would make me feel as if I have something at stake in the race.

The coolest thing is that a friend of mine has scored a pit pass for me. I can go to the pre-race driver’s meeting, stand around in Eric McClure’s pit, and hang around during driver introductions.

I had to turn in all kinds of personal information and basically sign my life away in case I get hurt or killed by a 3,500 pound race car. And for some reason, that excites me. How many sporting events can you attend where you, the spectator, can end up in the morgue before the night is over?

I have always loved the fact that it’s possible for a race car or a piece of it to end up in your lap during a race. The danger is not only real for the drivers, but it’s also very real for the fans. Anything can happen. The biggest thing that I’ve ever been hit with was a big chunk of hot rubber at Martinsville Speedway.

I was with my buddy Wally Harrison and we were sitting close to the track. Very close. A big chunk of hot tire came over the fence after a restart and hit me in the chest. I found it between my feet, picked it up, and molded it into a little dog for the bored kid in front of me. I sometimes wonder if he still has that rubber dog.

I’m planning on taking a camera for a photographic recap for you readers.

--Before I forget to mention it… Deidre from the Two Guys Named Chris show is my number one MySpace friend of the week. Drop by and say “howdy” to her!