Amy Winehouse 'Back To Black'

Good news! My leg stopped acting all funky. I’ve always had problems with my sciatic nerve in my left leg… So my educated guess leads me to believe that it’s a problem with my nerves.

Thank you for the emails… And Christine actually called me and asked me to walk across the floor on my heels. Did it without a problem so that ruled out a herniated disc in my back. At first, I thought she found out about my secret stash of stilettos.

Since we’re talking about my legs… I shall mention something I found a little odd the other day.

I inherited a condition from my mother. My sister Tina has this affliction as well… We move our legs almost constantly. If I’m sitting, I’ll start moving my foot or lifting my heel up and down. I’ll shake them. I will rock them. Rarely can I sit without my legs or feet in motion. Sometimes I will even lay in bed moving my feet while trying to get to sleep.

My dad always thought it was a nervous condition until he started seeing ads for drugs that cure RLS or Restless Leg Syndrome. It made sense to him that we have this condition. I heard the symptoms in the commercial and I didn’t have any. I don’t think that I have RLS.

And the other day, I listened to the commercial again because I like to hear the side effects of the drugs being hawked. I couldn’t believe it! I had to look up their website to make sure I wasn’t hearing things.

I wouldn’t mind some of the side effects…. The visions and unreal sounds. Personally, I feel that we need more legal drugs that provide hallucinations.

The side effects that I don’t understand are increased urges to gamble and increased sexual urges and/or behaviors. How can a drug make you pick up a Thursday night poker game? Or make you spend your whole paycheck on lottery scratch tickets? Or make you want a orgy with your wife, your mail carrier, the 19 yr old neighbor girl, the Elks Club, and the local minister? Or cause you to troll the Interstate rest stops for a little out-of-state action?

Maybe I’m missing something… But the sexual side effects aren’t all that bad in my book. As a matter of fact, I’d pop one of those jokers right now and say, “Bring it on, baby!”

I always liked the Propecia warnings…. Women who are or may potentially be pregnant must not use PROPECIA and should not handle crushed or broken PROPECIA tablets because the active ingredient may cause abnormalities of a male baby’s sex organs.

Man, that must be some strong stuff if you can’t even handle broken tablets… It must be like that black alien oil on the X-Files. It will find a way into your body, get to the unborn child, and give him a Winnebago of a penis.

Thankfully, I don’t have any daily medications. Although the constant commercials tend to make one feel abnormal if you’re not taking something… Anything.

Maybe someone should market a placebo…? I think Americans would jump on it. Remember the pet rock?