Monday, April 23, 2007

Kid Rock 'Live Trucker'

Kristina and I shared the love for Grindhouse all day this past Saturday. She left a comment on my MySpace page that read, “Happy Grindhouse Day!!!” We sent text messages to each other that shared our excitement about finally getting to see this film. We were as giddy as Ted Nugent in a topless gun shop.

First in our plans… We hit our “watering hole” to get enough alcohol into our systems for 3 hours of Grindhouse. It didn’t stay in our system that long… I think it’s because we ate something.

But we did manage to see on of the ugliest shirts ever made. It was like visual ipecac and we couldn’t look at it long. Kristina managed to snap a picture for all of us to enjoy…

The guy is pictured with a woman. A woman that I’m assuming is his wife. Either this woman has a sick sense of humor or she honestly lacks a good style sense like her husband… As a guy, I TOTALLY rely on my lady friends to help me out with my clothes… Especially Christine. She has no problem ripping off the proverbial Band-Aid from my style sense.

Kristina and I made our way to the theater to see Grindhouse. We found the auditorium decently filled and the projector didn’t break down. It was everything that we expected and more! It was sick. It was disturbing. It was cheap looking. And it was beautiful!

Because of our own sickness… WE LOVED IT!!!

We also came up with a theory about the Planet Terror feature part of the film… Rose McGowan portrays a go-go dancer that ends up with a machine gun replacing her right leg. We came up with the idea that she fires the weapon with the magical power of her kegels.

Kegels are worthy of worship.

See… We’re pretty sick too!

I managed to make it through the film without hitting the bathroom. It was difficult, but the sacrifices had to be made for Grindhouse. If it were my bladder… Then so be it. I had to be hardcore for Grindhouse.

With the alcohol fully out of our systems, we hit our “watering hole” once again to restore our bloodstreams to 40 proof.

And Kristina has agreed to open and close a bar with me. Although we are going to do it on a weekday, we are going to invite all of the Too Dangerous For Daylight readers to join us for all or part of the day. Since we actually value our livers a wee little bit, we’re looking for a bar that opens in the afternoon. Preferably in the late afternoon. And we have to remember not to “drink” our cab fare.

On Sunday, I had lunch with my friend Robin. When we were leaving, she opened up her trunk to place her purse inside. I was amazed to find 7 basketballs in the trunk!

Take a look… You may have to look closely to see the ones in the shadows, but they’re there…

She told me that they were her son’s basketballs and I had to ask, “Why does he have seven of them?”

She explained that he even has balls that match his outfits.

Yeah! He has basketballs to match his outfit!

What straight guy does that?

But who am I to question? Oh well… I’m out. It’s almost time for my manicure.


  1. Anonymous11:48 AM

    I'm just impressed you know what Kegels are.
    Glad you got to see your movie. A friend told me he wanted to see it but didn't get any takers.

  2. Oh yeah, Joan!

    We guys can utilize them as well!

    I can stop my flow of urine faster than you can say "pee".