Sunday, March 18, 2007

Spice Girls 'Spice'

Yes. Spice Girls’ ‘Spice’ is the musical choice of the day. Feel free to say whatever you want. Those of you with Poison, Partridge Family, or even the occasional “Weird” Al Yankovic CD’s in your music collection.

The Spice Girls were awesome and I will defend them on my deathbed without falter. If you don’t believe me, open your mind and let the ‘Spice’ flow. Luscious and funky grooves sung by four angels of the Apocalypse. Once you rip off that bandage and get it over with, you’ll feel a WHOLE better.

The Spice Girls did it the same way The Beatles did. They did it the same way The Osmonds did. They did it the same way KISS did. The Monkees, The Bee Gees, Hanson, and Pink Lady.

Don’t remember Pink Lady? Google it, Kojak.

There is great success with creating different personalities within a rock group. The Spice Girls, The Beatles, KISS, and The Monkees are four parts. Choose your flavor and enjoy. Four parts seems to be the “magic number” when it comes to great commercial success in music. The Bee Gees and Hanson flirted with 3 parts. Good in theory. Following the “holy trinity” belief, but it’s unnatural without at least two women (Tony Orlando and Dawn). The Osmonds were like an army of ants. An Osmond would fall by the wayside and there would be another to take its place. All young, fresh from the farm, and ready to face that slaughterhouse. You couldn’t keep up with them until Donny & Marie put the brothers group out of business.

The Spice Girls were vanilla funk that came in a pretty package. They co-wrote every damn song on the album. They sing very well. They’re attractive. There are four distinct personalities. Go ahead and name them all. You know. And with their video for “Say You’ll Be There”, they pay homage to the film Vanishing Point. If given a chance, you will see their greatness.

And speaking of Vanilla… I miss Vanilla Coke.

I really like Crest’s Vanilla Mint toothpaste.

I’ve toyed around with those whitening tooth pastes with cinnamon and orange, but damn if the vanilla mint isn’t pleasurable.

When I was a kid, there were only two flavors… Regular and mint. There were gels like Close-Up and other knockoffs. And when Aim came out, it fired up my imagination. Three flavors all in one toothpaste! My God, it was pornographic!

And when we didn’t have Aim in the Sims household, I would layer and mix whatever was in the house to invent my new toothpaste and gel breakthrough. Hey, I was around 8 or 9 years old. Give me a frakkin’ break.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the time my cousin Dan Lively and I concocted the worst liquid/semi-liquid cocktail ever created.


  1. Anonymous2:12 PM

    You dismiss college basketball at its pinnacle, that being Tourney Time, but you can honestly admit you like the Spice Girls?!?!?!

    I am at a loss for words.

    "Weird" Al is a musical/comedic genius. Just check out his new song "White and Nerdy". It's flippin' sweet!!!

    Not to sound like a fan or anything ( which I'm not ), but I thought they originally strted with 5 members.

  2. Anonymous4:19 PM

    That's true, there were 5 Spice Girls...Posh, Sporty, Scary, Baby, and Ginger I think...

    And I also believe Weird Al is a comedic genius. White and Nerdy is hysterical. The 'Fat' album was too funny, back in its day.

    from Kristina (i don't have a Google identity...!)

  3. Anonymous4:37 PM

    Oh yes, All of you have to hear about the time our cousin Dan and Eugene mixed just about everything they could find in our grandmother's kitchen into a tall glass....and drank it!! Just thinking about that now makes me want to hurl. Wow Eugene, I love the memories you bring back ...sometimes.


  4. Anonymous4:57 PM

    I believe it was aguafresh with the three flavors in the toothpaste not Aim. Also i did google pink lady and was scared what might pop up not expecting two japanese female singers from the seventies. Guess i was too young in the seventies to know about them.


  5. Charles,

    I've got plenty of "Weird" Al albums and CD's. He is a genius!

    And yes, I always forget about Sporty Spice. I always felt that she served no purpose. My bad.

  6. Kevin,

    You're right. I got mixed up. I'm using the "you're middle-aged" comment that I received last night.