Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Shaw-Blades 'Influence'

The Original KISS Army tribute band will be making a stop in Burlington at The Raven Saturday night, March 17th.

If you have never experienced a tribute band before, it can be a little unsettling. The bands generally pretend to be the real band in a lot of ways. And I think that’s one of the many reasons I dig them so much. I’ve seen the Led Zep tribute bands, a Guns N’ Roses tribute band, a Van Halen tribute band (very weak), a Grateful Dead tribute band (Dark Star Orchestra last month), and scores of KISS tribute bands.

In my opinion, the KISS tribute bands have been the best of the lot. They give you the KISS “experience” on a much smaller scale and in my opinion, no one does it better than the Original KISS Army tribute band.

If you have the slightest interest in seeing this band, I suggest that you act upon it. It’s great fun! KISS is my all-time favorite band and even some of their hardcore fans scare me with their overzealousness and party-like-I’ll-die-tomorrow attitude when at tribute shows. In other words, there’s a show in the audience as well.

I found this in my mail slot at work last week…

Before Valentine’s Day, someone left me some candy in that mail slot. I said something about it to our ass-kicking receptionist Nicole and she said, “Maybe you have a secret admirer.”

“C’mon..,” I said with a raised eyebrow. “No one’s that desperate.”

By summoning up my Columbo-like detective skills, I will be looking for anyone reading with braille at work. It’s quite obvious that they’re legally blind.

Over the weekend, I managed to watch The Marine starring WWE SuperStar John Cena. I was expecting a bad movie, but I didn’t expect one this damn good!

That’s right! The Marine is a great bad film!

The worst parts involve John Cena’s acting. He may be able to feign injury in the WWE squared circle, but he cannot pass muster when it comes to dramatic roles.

Cena plays a beefed up Marine that’s kicked out because he disobeyed orders to save his fellow jarheads. He only knows how to be a Marine… blah, blah, blah… Same old storyline. He arrives back home to the little hot, blonde wife with the most god-awful musical idea for an action picture.

Here’s how I see it… The director is talking with the script writer and musical composer about how to score this tender and touching reunion type of love scene… The director says, “I want something to elevate the love between the two characters.”

“Yes, I see,” says the writer. “I can visualize a scene reminiscent of Titanic.”

“How about pan flutes for the love scene?” asks the composer who may have been half-joking.

“BEAUTIFUL!” shouts the director who just knocked over his chair. “Get to it!”

Let me tell you folks… That scene complete with pan flutes is so laughably bad that it deserves an award.

We’ve established that Cena isn’t made for drama, but he’s pretty good at the action stuff. And The Marine holds up pretty well with the action. The director may not know squat about drama, but he knows how to compose over-the-top action scenes complete with KISS-like explosions.

And I also have to give credit to those who are willing to poke a little fun at themselves…. Like Robert Patrick.

Patrick plays a deliciously bad guy with great lines. When two of his cronies are shooting at the unstoppable Cena who is in pursuit driving a Highway Trooper’s car, one turns in Patrick’s direction (he’s driving the SUV) and says, “Who is this guy? The Terminator?”

The camera focuses on the rearview mirror where we see Patrick’s eyes cut back to that individual with a harsh look. For those who do not know… Robert Patrick played the liquid-Terminator in T2. And they also reference that when he replaced Duchovny on the X-Files.

The Marine is what some call a “drive-in classic”. It’s big, dumb, and a lot of fun. I highly recommend it, especially if you’re a fan of “bad” films. I gave it 4 out of 5 stars on Netflix.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:34 PM

    Elitist snob that I am, I'm waiting to see the tribute band for the Original KISS Army tribute band.