Friday, September 29, 2006

Buck Owens ‘Hot Dog’

I had to drop by the office of my insurance agent today and I figured that I would take along my nephew Preston. He’s all right when it comes to running errands with me. He is generally well behaved for a 6 year-old (he’ll celebrate his 6th in a couple of months).

After leaving my agent’s office, Preston said that he was hungry. I interrogated him about his lunch and as it turned out, he didn’t have much of a lunch. Once I asked him where he wanted to go, he said to me… “Bojangles. NO! That place with the big head.”

In Preston-speak, the place with the big head is Kentucky Fried Chicken. He likes the kid’s laptop meal with the chicken strips.

So I took him there and I decided to have one of those KFC Mashed Potato bowls. Mashed potatoes, corn, some sort of chicken nugget things, some grated cheeses, and their delicious gravy. This was my first one and believe it or not, the damn things are good.

The other day, I was driving down Battleground Avenue and I noticed that the KFC next to Bisquitville is going through a remodeling. Hope sprang up out of me like a teenager’s hard-on.

Could it be? Were my prayers being answered? Is that KFC turning into a hybrid of KFC and Long John Silver’s?

I made a mental note to call them once I got to work.

I strolled in with my bag of Bojangles… Buffalo Bites and green beans, nothing fried… And Weather Dave asked me what I was having. That’s when I poured out the news about the KFC remodeling. Dave couldn’t stand it either and he looked up the phone number on the Internet. I called and found out the bitter deep-fried truth… They were just remodeling. There are no plans for Long John Silver’s in that location. I wanted to cry and beg and curse, but what good would it do.

Ronie came in and overheard us talking about it. Before I could tell her the bad news, she said that the location was remodeling and the first thought that popped into her head was a picture of me dancing around the Long John’s and KFC parking lot throwing clams and hushpuppies into the air in celebration. Watching me rub chicken planks up and down my body as if it were a bar of soap being used by a man who’s enjoying the first bath in about a year. Seeing me turn up and guzzle bottles of Malt Vinegar to chase down fish fillets.

It would have been beautiful and it appears that day will never come. Is anyone capable of understanding how I feel?

I have finished season one of Rescue Me. Even before I digested the whole season, I gave it 5 stars on Netflix. The show, as Charles Nelson Reilly would say, is simply mahr-velous!

Now, I’m about to start up with Grey’s Anatomy. I’m little apprehensive about it because it’s a medical drama. Well technically, a medical soap opera.

I’m throwing away any misconceptions because I’m getting really good news about it. I remember former WFMY News 2 meteorologist, now on, Rachel Peterson (who doesn’t watch any TV) telling me that it was one of her favorite shows. Deidre has been chatting it up on Two Guys Named Chris and my trusted friend Kristina keeps telling me how good it is.

I will keep you posted on my thoughts about Grey’s Anatomy.

Get ready for the return of Veronica Mars next Tuesday night and for God’s sake, don’t forget Battlestar Galactica next Friday night. I’m so psyched!


  1. Anonymous7:53 PM

    I am prepared for the inevitable backlash, but isn't Long John Silver's just the far-away twin of Captain D's?

    Speaking of television, you got a semi-shoutout on Two Guys Named Chris this morning, when it was determined that if you say a show is good, it must suck. I can't remember exactly what show it was in reference to, but it was something listed on that Paste Magazine 24 Perfect Hours of TV list. I want to say Veronica Mars, but I can't be sure.

    Unlike last season, for some reason I can not get into any of the new crop of shows. I tried to watch Justice once, but have not seen it since. I heard good things about Heroes,and taped it when they reran the pilot, but I haven't gotten around to watching it yet. I probably won't like it as much as the buzz because it sounds like "X-Men meets The 4400." Other than that everything is either a SNL behind-the-scenes show or some one-word-titled drama that I can't tell apart from all of the other one-word-titled dramas.

    The only one I really want to watch is "Til Death" but the planets aligned so that, while there is absolutely nothing for me to watch on Tuesday, Friday or Saturday, the 8:30 Thursday is three-deep. There are only 3.5 hours of scheduled programming that I consider set in stone and that 30 minutes is spoken for. Plus, because of the Office/Survivor overlap, the second vcr is already taping something.I need to break down and invest the extra 5 bucks to get a DVR.

  2. Jane... You ignorant slut... Captain D's is nothing NOTHING like Long John Silver's. Captain D's is swill compared to the greatness that is Long John Silver's.

    I tried it once when they closed the LJS in the 4 Seasons mall and I quickly discovered that Captain D's sucks.

    Yeah... I've been pushing Veronica Mars onto Deidre with no luck. Just can't get her to bite.

    I've been taping everything, which of course means that I'll be a month behind everyone else. I just can't get caught up. Perhaps I should put Netflix in the backseat.