Wednesday, April 05, 2006

‘Blowing Like A Circle Around My Skull’ A mix tape by Brad Kesler

You know… I got nuthin’. I’ve absolutely nothing to write about. I could write about why I haven’t renewed my license plate… So I will.

I have the money and Roxy, my truck, is up to date when it comes to insurance. I’m just real lazy about it and I dread the tax bill that soon follows license plate renewal. Plus, I don’t like going to the plate office.

Years ago, there only used to be one office for tag renewal and it was practically an all-day event. There was lots of standing in line waiting and contemplation of suicide. I dreaded it with every fiber of my being. I’ve got better things to do on my day off like watching TV or drinking large amounts of beer with friends like Sean Whitley.

One day, I decided that I wasn’t going to be bored with the lines at the Golden Gate shopping center office. I took a folding lawn chair and a book with me because waiting in line there was usually a 45 or more minute ordeal with people looking at their watches, sighing, and huffing. I just wasn’t going to have it.

I would sit and read my book and every so often I would resituate my position as the line inched ever so slightly forward. I got dirty looks from the people that worked at that office and from the people in line, I got “attaboys” and folks telling me what a good idea it was. One guy even said that next time he was going to bring his golf stool with him.

I was going to try another approach this year by paying for them over the Internet and receiving the little sticker in the mail. But getting a new check card put a stop to those plans.

If you don’t recall, I got a charge on my check card that I never made at a place that I had to look up in the phone book.

Getting my vehicles inspected was something else that I didn’t like doing much. My old Ford Escort EXP (her name is Ruby) and me went over 18 months before getting popped by Brother Bacon. The cop was amazed that I had gone so long without getting my car inspected.

I had good enough reason in my mind… To get Ruby to pass 19 months earlier, I had to hand over $460 bucks to get her exhaust system to pass the test with the new air quality regulations.

When I would pass law enforcement officials, I would throw up my hand and wave. I used misdirection to get them to look at me and thinking to themselves, "Do I know that guy?"

When I finally got caught, I was sitting at a small intersection on Chimney Rock Road and I-40 (no longer there). The cop was sitting across from me and I knew that he had taken notice. He turned around and pulled me on the other side of the bridge. He gave me a ticket instead of a warning because it had been 18 months. I didn’t blame him and it was dismissed when proven that the vehicle had been inspected and passed.

I’m thinking that I need to get my plates renewed today, but maybe I’ll do it tomorrow. Friday looks like a good day too.

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